


Glow in the dark.

by iliketoburnthings16



Category: Dangan Ronpa - All Media Types, New Dangan Ronpa V3: Everyone's New Semester of Killing
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Angst, Angst and Hurt/Comfort, Crying, DICE Has Over 10000 Members (Dangan Ronpa), DICE Member Oma Kokichi, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Eventual Oma Kokichi/Saihara Shuichi, Fluff and Angst, Friends to Lovers, Gay Oma Kokichi, Hurt/Comfort, Implied/Referenced Self-Harm, Kaito is best bro, Kokichi’s backstory, M/M, More like 10 members, Mutual Pining, Nail Polish, Oma Kokichi Being Oma Kokichi, Oma Kokichi Has Trust Issues, Oma Kokichi Needs a Hug, Oma Kokichi-centric, Other, Panic Attacks, Parental Tojo Kirumi, Ryoma gets screentime, Sad Oma Kokichi, Slow Burn, but not really, despair disease, fanfic has happy moments, gay eye contact, gonta and ryoma become friends, kiibo has the strength of a senior citizen, kirumi cares about her kids, kirumi is best mom, kokichi gets a character arc, kokichi gets a redemption arc, kokichi has nervous ticks, kokichi ouma despair disease, kokichi was friends with rantaro than he died rip, nail baiting, nail picking, panta boy x detective, rantaro paints nails, shuichi is inspector gadget, sick kokichi
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-11-07
Updated: 2020-12-06
Packaged: 2021-03-09 00:48:57
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 11
Words: 29,020
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27425983
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/iliketoburnthings16/pseuds/iliketoburnthings16
Summary: What happens when Kokichis defence mechanism is taken away from him.Kokichi catches despair disease, forcing him to no longer tell a lie. How will he react, and how long will it take till Does he finally snap? And to Kokichis surprise, these change of events brings him and his favorite detective closer than ever before.⚠️ Trigger warning for nail picking, nail biting, panic attacks, chewing on lip, chewing the inside of cheek, hair pulling, needle being used to scare someone , and vomiting blood. ⚠️
Relationships: Oma Kokichi/Saihara Shuichi, panta boy x detective - Relationship
Comments: 55
Kudos: 372





	1. Everything was going according to Kokichis plan...or so he thought.

**Author's Note:**

> Inspired by my own fanart. You can find it under iliketoburnthings16 on TickTok.
> 
> Also side note I have never published a work on AO3 before so please forgive me if anything looks outta place.

Kokichi was there when monokuma revealed the new motive, sense the motive videos didn't work due to kokichi having everyone watch each other’s motive videos.  
He pretended he was disappointed, that another killing wouldn’t arise, yet deep down he was glad that his master plan worked in his favor.

Of course, he knew monokuma would do everything In his power to have Kokichi get infected.  
For it's thanks to him that everyone shared their motive videos and measures were taken. Sure, the first week after the “Bug met and great” were a bit rocky. Due to everyone finding out that Maki was an assign and Kirumi the prime minister, along with Ryoma having nothing to live for.

Kaito kept an eye on Maki, and eventually, the class tolerated her, to Kokichs shock. How could they be so calm with a killer amongst them...

Kirumi wasn’t allowed near Ryoma, as the class came to an agreement that having the person who had everything to live for, and the man who had nothing to live for should be separated.

Gonta volunteered to be Ryomas “bodyguard”, even though Ryoma has insisted that he can take care of himself.  
Halfway through the week, Ryoma eventually warmed up to Gonta. They begin to talk more with one another, Gonta going on about his favorite types of bugs while Ryoma listened.  
Gonta tried out Tennis, cause it was something his friend liked and he wanted to enjoy it too.  
Sure, he may have accidentally broken a few tennis rackets, but the boys had fun nevertheless.

Gonta even asked Miu if she could build Ryoma a robotic cat after finding out the tragic fate of Ryoma's pet cat.

As for Kirumi, she tried to escape the school countless times. Yet to her dismay she was never successful.  
She hasn’t given up though. When she isnt doing her maid duty’s she is coming up with escape plans.

Than, monokuma reveals the new motive much to Kokichis displeasure.  
So when he begins to feel lightheaded, and that he was running a small fever he wasn’t surprised.  
However, the thing that made him go into hiding was after he was teasing Kiibo

"Kokich! Why are you so robophobic towards me?" He demanded to know, pointing a finger at the smaller male.

Kokichi opens his mouth to let out one of his signature laughs, however, what slipped through his lips took him off guard.

"Cause it's my way of distancing myself from you silly. To get you to hate me! So that why when I-"  
He silenced himself by slapping himself in the face, however his planed backfired when he accidentally bit his tongue. He began to taste mettle.

"Oooaaahhhh kokichi your bleeding!" Kiibo screams, causing the door of the dining hall to open.

"Kiibo what's the matter?" Kaito asked as footsteps followed behind him.

"K-kokichi! He's bleeding at an alarming rate!"  
The small boy wasn't facing Kaito and the others, his back turned from them. He could feel their eyes piercing him in the back.  
He covers his mouth, and as he was about to make a run for it he felt a hand on his shoulder.

The small boy flinched, feeling as if bugs began to crawl on his skin. He slapped the hand away, turning on his heels only to have his racing heart stop once he sees who it was.

Shuichi.

  
_”Damnit of course it was him”_

"Kokichi, are you okay?"

Kokichis heart tried to burst from his chest, his breath uneven as he forced his hand to muffle his words.

Then his feet took off on their own, he ran like his life depended on it. Gonta tried to catch him but he swiftly dogged his grip and made it out the door.

He made his way to the boys bathroom, and decides to take refuge in a bathroom stall.

The small boy was hugging his knees as he stands on a toilet so if anyone, were to come in them, wouldn't see his shoes.  
Kokichie knew he couldn't go to his room right away, for that would be the first place they would look for him. And with both gonta and tenkos strength, they could easily bust down his door.

He felt the sudden need to spit. As quiet as a mouse he grabbed some toilet paper and spit into the tissue. Hot pink dripped from his lips.

The sound of the bathroom door creaking open sent shivers down his spine, his body tensed up with fear.

Heavy footsteps slowly creep into the restroom, taking his time checking the stalls. Kokichi brings the toilet paper to his mouth, as he curled into himself.

This was it  
This was how it ends  
He was going to be found out  
All his secrets would be on full display for everyone to see

He hears the footsteps stop in front of the stall he was hiding in. Kokichi takes a peek to see who's shoes were on the other side, and to his demise, there were no shoes.

_”Shit, it's gonta! I'm so screwed.”_

As gonta was about to open the door, a voice from outside the restroom called for the boy's name.

"Gonta! Kaito requested a class meeting!" The voice sounded to be Shuichi's, which only made Kokichi feel worse.

"Oh! Coming Shuichi "  
And just like that, kokichi was once again alone in the bathroom, all by himself.

Once he knew it was safe, he headed straight to his room, wanting nothing more than the safety of his bed.

* * * * * * * * *

* * * * * * *

* * * *

* *

He didn't leave his bed, only to use the bathroom and take the food Kirumi left for him.

Shuichi came bye a couple of times, however, since he never asked Kokich a question, Kokich was able to ignore him.  
He did the same thing to Kiibo and Gonta, not wanting them to get involved. If he even heard Kibbo speak, he would put on his headphones and crank the music to full blast. Kokichi didn’t do this cause he dislikes Kibbo, quite the opposite.  
He didn't want Kibbo to find out he secretly wanted to be his friend, or have Kiibo ask about what happened in the dinning hall.

If he could, he actually wouldn't mind being friends with everyone.

On the Third day, Kaito stopped by. He knocks on the door.  
“Kokichi. It’s me, Kaito.”  
He wasn’t supposed when his classmate on the other side of the door dose not respond.

"I...I don't know what's gotten into you, but whatever it is just know that it's thanks to you that manokumas last motive didn't work... I know you said it was to start another killing but...my gut is telling me otherwise. Anyway...  
So uh... if you need anything, we got your back man."

No response.

Kaito scratched his chin awkwardly. He didn’t know what to do, Kokichi was such a hard person to understand.

After waiting five minutes for a response, only to receive no response,the ultimate astronaut left, not knowing what else to say.


	2. Ghosting.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Kokichi has been ghosting his classmates. Then he gets a surprise visitor.

_"Are you scared, kokichi"_

  
_His chest tightens at those words, his jaw clenching as he tried to hold back his words. His hands, curled into fist begin to shake as he desperately tried to keep himself together._

_"Of course I'm fucking scared Astro boy! Who wouldn't be scared knowing you could die!" He screamed, his eyes widen in horror at what he had just said._

_"W-what did you just say?" Kaito asked in disbelief._

_"It's probably one of his lies again, don't let him tick you," Maki says, glaring at Kouichi, however, there was a hint of doubt in her voice._

_"Yeah! That must be it! Right, Kokichi?" Kibbo asked in hesitation._

_He tries to laugh it off, but it comes across as somber._  
_"Don't be stupid kibbo, of course, it isn't a lie"_  
_Shit, I didn't mean to say that._

_"What are you scared of, kokichi?" Shuichi asked, hand resting under his chin, eyebrows forward._

_Kokichi quickly covered his mouth with his hands before his legs gave out beneath him. His knees buckled as he fell hunched over._  
_He didn't know what he said, cause all he could hear was his heavy breathing, and his heart drumming in his ears. His hands now resting on the ground as he begins to breathe more unsteady._

_Nasisa crept upon him, and without warning, he threw up on the ground, his throat began to burn. His nostrils where stinging with the stench of his own blood._

_"Kokichi!"_

*  
*  
*

"Kokichi! Kokichi wakes up it's past breakfast." A stern yet caring voice called to him from outside his dorm door.

Kokichi let's out a gasp, his eyes shooting wide open.

”Kokichi!”

The boy kiruma was talking to was laying back agents his mattress , his t-shirt sticking to his skin due to sweat. He didn't dare speak, not knowing what words would come out of his mouth.

He looks at the stars that stuck to his ceiling, the glow of purple and blue the only thing he could see in his cave.

_"Oooh, you got me a present Shuichi? I guess I don't have to kill you, for now" he adds with a playful smirk._

_Shuichi rolls his eyes, a small smile tugging at his lips._  
_He pulls out a small baggy out from his pockets and hands it to Kokich._

_The purple hair boy opens the baggy and holds one of the stars between his fingers, bringing it close to face to examine it._

_"Woooooow! Neto! These will help_ _decorate my evil lar!"_

_"I don't think glow in the dark stars is what would be used to decorate an "evil lar"." He adds with a chuckle._  
_The detective found it amusing how Kolichis eyes sparkled with pure childlike wonder._

_"What would you know Mr.Detective? Are you secretly running an evil organization behind my back?" He huffs the last part out with a pout, eyebrows forward._

_"That's silly Kokichi!"_

_"Oh, I know! I'm just messing with you nyhehehe." He placed the star back into the baggy before stirring it in his pants pockets._

_"Okay, I'm bored now! Come on Shuichi let's do something fun"_  
_He grabs Shuichi's hands, holding them in his. Shuichi's' hands are much larger compared to his, fingers long and nails well kept compared to Kokichi who bit his nails._

  
_Before Rantaro was murdered, he painted kokichis nails to try and get him to stop biting them. For he found the habit annoying, but deep down he was just showing that he cared for him._

_The nail polish is now chipped, however, Kokichi refuses to repaint them. Even tho he has the same nail polish Rantaro used in his dorm room, he doesn't dare touch his stubby nails._  
_For it's all he had left of Rantaro was the chipping away the black coat of nail polish._

_"Kokichi! Wh-where are we going?" Shuichi asked with a panicked expression._  
_Kokichi looks up at him, Shuichi's eyes are hidden by his dark blue hair._

_"Geeze Shuichi you might wanna push your bangs back! I thought the whole point of getting rid of your emo hat was to look people in the eyes!"_

_Shuichi's cheeks dust a pink hue as he moves his bangs out of his face, revealing his gray eyes._

_Kokichi loved Sahara's eyes, how they were gray like tombstones but shined in the sunlight like diamonds. How the color of his eyes matched his morals, gray._

_"Much better!" He chirps before turning away from him and dragging his hand in hand._

_"Let's go bother Ki-boy or something"_

Shuichi...

  
What would he say if he saw him now  
He remembered the look of Shuichi's face in his dream, no, that nightmare.

It was just a nightmare  
But it felt all too real, and the events that conspired in the dream could happen if he left this room.

He wasn't going to take those chances.

A gurgle comes from his stomach, followed by pain eating away at him. Turning over to his left side he curls upon himself and lets a few tears escape his eyes. No one was here, he could let his walls down in the safety of his room.

"Kokichi... why aren't you answering me," Kirumi asked

"I'm scared." His voice was horse due to him not talking in four days .

The first day, kiruma brought him breakfast and left it outside his door, along with lunch and dinner  
And same with the second day and third day. However she never asked Kouichi a question, so he never responded.

But on the fourth day, she couldn't handle it much longer. She was worried about the boy after all, along with some of the other students.

So to hear a faint noise come from his room startled her.

"Excuse me Kokichi, I couldn't hear you. May you please speak.

A strangled caught escapes his chapped lips before he stumbles over his words.

"I-I'm scared damnit." He cringed at his own words, hating the sour taste it left in his mouth.

Silence sat between them for a few moments, before Kirumi spoke.

"Kokichi, please let me in. Or I will have no choice but to ask Tanko to knock down this door."

He sighs, rubbing his eyes into his skull before stiffly leaving his bed. On his way to the door, he stepped over a few pieces of paper with cartoony weapons drawn on them.

The doorknob was old, the wood chipping away. As he clicks the door unlocked and opens the door.  
He squinted his eyes, the bright light blinding him.

Kirumi's eyes softened with sympathy as she took in the sight before her. What she saw was a boy who has had something secret taken from him, and he is left alone to cope.

His hair, although a vibrant purple, was tangled like yarn, sticking out in all directions like bob wires.  
After he finished rubbing his eyes, he placed his hands in the pockets of his checkerboard sweats.

"Goooood morning. What brings you to my hideout." He plastered on a smile, looking up to meet Kirumis face.

However, his cheerful voice felt fake. Like too much sugar added to a cup of coffee as if to take away the bitter taste.

"Kokichi..."  
The tune in her voice caught the small boy off guard.  
It wasn't an annoyed "kokichi" when he was doing his ant acts. Or a scolding Kokichi  
But a voice soft, and gentle. Motherly to the young boy.

Ha  
He almost laughed at the thought before smothering it.

"Yup that's me! The one and only! he forced his hands out of the comfort of his pockets to rest behind his head, as he widened his grin.

"You have it, don't you?" She asked, her gloved hands covering her mouth at the realization. Sure she had her suspicions, but by his appearance alone she could tell.

She gently placed the tray aside, her dress flowing outward as she kneeled down.

"Knehehe you caught me," he says in a mocking tone, only for him to cough towards the end.  
Once she stands, she looks him in the eyes.  
Those eyes usually flowed with mischief, now looked as if he was missing a spark.

"Kokichi, please. May I come in."

"No."  
He is halfway through closing the door when Kirumis handholds onto the door handle.

He glared at her, trying to push the door, however, Kirumi had more strength, and forced the door open.

"You're disobeying an order Kirumi, isn't that agents your maid code or something." He says with a pained expression as he holds his stomach, a loud growl echoed.

She takes the plate with her left hand and turns on the lights as she moves past kokichi, who was no longer in the doorway but near his desk. He hissed when the lights came on, rubbing his puffy eyes.

"Yes, but not at the stake of your mental and physical health." She looks around the room. It was....something.  
A whiteboard with all of there pictures on it, with what appeared to have-

"Hey! No peeking!" He stumbled over to the whiteboard and turning it over the other side.  
On the other side is a drawing of him with his hands on his hips, a black cloak flowing in the wind. As well as what appears to be a pilot hat on his head.  
The style was simple but charming. Till she saw that he had a raygun in his hands.

She takes a set at the end of his bed and holds the tray out to him.  
The food was a rice-filled omelet with ketchup drizzled on the top. Along with a side of strawberries and yogurt.

He gobbled the food down, not caring that Kirumi was watching him.

"After you eat, please take a shower and brush your hair."

He finished chewing the food in his mouth then swallows.

"I look that bad heh," he says with a chuckle, stabbing one of the strawberries with his fork. The lifeless look in his eyes only made Kirumi feel more at unease.

"In other words, yes kokichi you look terrible"

"Woah how could you Kirumi!" He sheds a few crocodile tears before wiping them away.

"Hm. I've never noticed your fingernails before." She says as she hands him a bottle of water. Kokichi snags the water bottle and chugs the water down, his throat parched.

After he finished half of the bottle, he placed it on his desk.

"I know right! Aren't they super cute!"

"They need to be repainted, may I repaint them for you after you tidy yourself up." She asked, taking a peek at the desk.  
There was a thing of black nail polish, along with stacks of playdoh. Around his test were boxes of papers and drawings, as well as papers scattered across the floor. Regardless, the thing that caught her most off guard was the horse mask that was next to his bed.

"No."

"Why not?

"Cause Rantaro did them for me, and it's all I have left of him." The words left his mouth with ease, his brain not even processing what he said till it was too late.

He swallowed a lump in his throat as he tries to laugh it off, he opens his mouth to reply with  
"But that's a lie"  
But no words would come out. No matter how hard he tried, they wouldn't leave his mouth.

"I see, in that case then I won't," Kirumi sus with a warm smile, catching the purple hair boy off guard.

"You-what?"

"How about you have a bath instead of a shower, I heard it helps with stress. Want me to run the bathwater for you?" She asked

"Yeah." He says with a sigh than finished off the master bite of omelet.  
She sits up. Then goes to his closet to get a new uniform.

"I suggest brushing your hair before taking a bath, for it will be easier to wash your hair."

She heads into his bathroom, setting the cloths on the dresser next to the bathtub. The bathroom unlike the rest of his room was well kept, all the towels folded neatly.

After she turns the water on to warm, she heads to the cubers to pick out witch bubble bath soup to use. She knew this cause it was designed just like her restroom.  
Kirumi had an option between Green apple, lavender, or unscented bath bombs.

Seeing how Kokichi has been stressed, she chose the purple lavender bath bomb. She closed the wooden cabinet and headed to the bathtub. The water was already halfway full, so she unwraps the bath bomb and placed it in the warm water. She always found the chalk-like substance breaking apart and devolving into the water soothing.  
After pouring purple liquid into the bath she turns off the water and leaves the bathroom.

The sound of a hairbrush being dragged through hair made Kirumi scrunch her nose.  
Kokichi was on his bed, yanking at the tuffs of his hair with his brush, concentrating as he tried to get the hairbrush unstuck.

"Want me to help?" She asked with a small laugh, kokichi crossed his arms, the hairbrush tangled on the left side of his hair, hanging on for dear life.

"Yeah." He mumbles.

Kirumi sits behind the small boy, "I'm going to tug this hairbrush from your hairs clutches, it's going to hurt a bit okay." She warned.

Kokichi nods in understanding, then yelps as she yanks the hairbrush from his hair.

Kirumi takes the hair into sections and then polls out a comb from one of her pockets. She works her way gently down the roots, detangling the mess.

"So, you can only tell the truth."

"Yeah. It fucking sucks, it feels like part of myself is gone."  
He explains, playing with the cuffs of his white sweater.

"I'm sorry kokichi, truly I am." Her voice was kind and sympathetic. She could only imagine the toll it's taking on the boy. It would be as if the despair desires took away her ability to fulfill her duties.

"Has...has anyone else caught it?" He asked,  
bingeing the hangnail on his left thumb.

"Yeah, so far Himiko, Gonta, Miu, and now you," Kirumi informs him. She is now halfway through with his hair, even though she brushed it smooth his hair on his left side still stuck up.

"Wait Gonta?"

"Indeed, he has been overly emotionally to the point of bursting into tears. Always blaming himself and apologizing for the smallest of things." She explained.

"Ryoma has been keeping him company while we try to find a cure, we've searched the library however it seems we have found nothing."

Kokich rests his hand under his chin as he ponders.

"What about Himiko and Miu?"

"Well, Himiko has been a Burt of energy. Never staying still, it's been hard having to keep her bed rested. Cause she keeps on using magic tricks to escape her dorm"

"But her magic tricks are fake? Don't tell me you believe in that crap right?"

"Of course not, however whenever we find her wondering around somewhere, she will say  
"I escaped using my magic", so now we have Tenko on watch."  
She takes the last section of Kokich s hair and brushes it gently in a smooth motion, not wanting to upset him.

"As for Miu, she's been quite... hm what's the word, ordinary."

"Ordinary?”

"Precisely. She has been rather down, for she is no longer inventing. She mostly just sleeps and watches television. So we haven't had anyone on watch douty for her. However we've tried to cheer her up multiple times, kibbio even offered to let Miu run experiments on him."

"Wow, it's that bad hah." Although he called Miu names, deep down he cared about her. Kind of in a sibling way. Sure, sometimes they get on your nerves and you just want them to shut up, but you still care about them.

"Yeah. She declined Kibbo's offer, and said with a gloomy expression "What's the point anymore." Had him speechless."  
She sets the brush down, taking one last look at his hair before dusting off her hands on her dress.

"I've finished. I shall leave the rest to you." She stands up and goes to his desk collecting the tray and empty water bottle and silverware.

"H-hey Kirumi." He calls out, chewing on his lower lip.

She looks over to him, patiently waiting for a response. His eyes looked a little more awake than before, still, the dark moons resting under his purple eyes still stayed.

"Thank you." He looks to the ground, his fuzzy socks rubbing against each other.

She smiles, a sense of relief and trimpth filled her chest. Kokich let her in, and he is putting down his facade, even if it's just this once, to tell her to thank you.

"Of course Kokich. If you ever need anything, I'm here. I'm not saying this just as a maid, but as a friend."  
The small boy looked up with wide eyes, his hands now dropping to his lap.  
Friend?

"I'll leave the rest to you Kokich, what you decide to do now is up to you." She waves goodbye, before closing the door behind her.

Kokich looked at his nails, noticing the the tairing skin hanging from his cuticles.

Part of him wants to use this as an opportunity to let his walls down, to let the others in.

But, look where that lead Kaede...

The image of her corpse hanging flashed before Kokichi eyes, causing him to feel an overwhelming sense of despair.

 _No... I can't. I can't let my walls down_.

** * * *

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I wanted to write some wholesome mom kirumi. I want to give Kokichi a hug lol. Hope you enjoyed the chapter ❤️


	3. Dripping sink

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Kokichi is conflicted with himself, still wanting to distance himself from those who reach out to him. How much longer can he keep this up, and what will happen when those he hid from find him in one of his darkest moments. 
> 
> Trigger warning: panic attack ahead.

Kokich takes off his clothes and places them in the laundry basket. He felt gross, like a rat who has been in the sewers for four days. It didn’t help that his clothes smelled of sweat. 

He takes a risk and glances at the mirror before him, cringing at his reflection. A grimace expression on his face. 

Pimples begin to form on his forehead due to him not taking care of his skin. His eyes, although no longer puffy, were red due to him watching Youtube videos at 3 in the morning till he fell asleep. 

Specifically or soothing videos of people playing with playdo. Or anime like MHA or Sailor Moon. 

  
  


And don't even get him started on his dark circles. Maybe he could find some concealer somewhere so he could hide the imperfections.

He sticks out his tongue, it's healing surprisingly well. Although it still hurts to eat salty food. 

After he brushed his teeth, he gets into the bathtub. The water was still surprisingly warm, and he closed his eyes.

He breathed in the smell of lavender, letting it crawl into his nose. His muscles begin to relax as he soaked in the feeling of bliss. 

* *****

When he finished cleaning himself and washing his hair, he drys himself off. As he grabs the hairdryer that's laying in the sink he notices that the bath made his finger pruney. He sticks his tongue in disgust, then begins to blow dry his hair. 

“So, what I'm I going to do now? Hide in here till everyone else finds a cure? Or shall I risk it, and leave the safer of my room..." he thinks to himself.

Once he finished blow-drying his hair, he brushed it out then changes into his usual clothing attire. As he begins to tie on his checkered bandana around his neck he hears a knock at his door. 

"Who is it?"

He hollers, securing the knot than brushing his hair over his shoulder. 

"Oh KokichI! Your awake!" 

"I've been awake stupid. What is it?" The surprime leader asked, heading towards his door. He stands in front of the door. Waiting for an answer.

"I..I've been worried about you Kokich. You kind of just left out of nowhere." Kokichi recognized the voice on the other side of the door, oh how he secretly missed that voice. 

Kokichi leans his back agents the wall, crossing his arms as he thinks of his next move. He glanced at the door to his right, "I could let him in... but my cover would be exposed."

His pale fingertips ghost under his eyes, a frown swiped across his face.

"Shuichi... if you can find me the foundation and a blinding sponge I will let you in." The young boy says in his high in a mighty leader voice.

"Uhhhh, okay?" The detective didn't question it, thank goodness. He leaves, and Kokich lets out a breath he didn't realize he was holding in. 

Kokichi heads to his whiteboard and turns it over. Grasping the black dry erase marker, he takes the lid off with his teeth, then begins to write under Shuichi's picture.

_“Trustworthy. I want to..”_ he stops writing, debating whether or not to write...whatever his mind was thinking on the board. 

“Maybe if I just try’s to not think about it, these feelings will go away.” He convened himself.

  
  
  


He glanced over at Kirumis, the words “Prime minister could kill” written under her name.

Chewing on the cap as he thinks, he erases what he wrote with the whiteboard eraser.

_“ Prime minister, could kill...but she is nice. Cares about me??”_

He runs a hand through his hair, tilting his head to the side.

”Damnit, she is so hard to trust. I can't tell if she is being genuine or if she is manipulating me.”

Kokichi wanted to believe her, to trust her. He never had a mother figure before, so it's so easy for him to feel at ease in her presence. 

  
  
  


The sound of knocking takes him out of his thoughts. He quickly flips the board over, then puts the cap back on the marker.

"Hold your horses Shuichi!" The young boy shouts. He moves a few boxes to the corners of his room before heading to the door.

  
  


Shuichi waits patiently for Kokichi to open the door, mindlessly reading the ingredients on the back of the consular bottle. He had to ask Tsumgi for it, which to his surprise happy handed over. Then begin to go into a one-sided discussion about cosplay. 

He is brought back to his attention when he hears the door unlock, averting his gaze to the door. 

A small hand sticks out from the doorframe, followed by an arm sleeve.

"Uhh, Kokichi?"

"Gimme" he demands. Kokichis hand makes a gripping motion.

Shuichi sighs, not bothering to question his friend, are they friends? Well, Shuichi cares about kokichi deeply, he hopes the other returns that sentiment.

He placed the small bottle in kokichis hands, taken back at how warm they were. 

Does he have the virus? No his hands were warm when he held my hand... wait did that count as holding hands?

Holding hands

  
  


"Hey! Hey! Earth to Shuichi!" He hissed from the darkness of his cave.

Shuichi snaps out of his thoughts, now staring at the hand that's waving up and down. 

"Ah sorry."

Kokich huffs from the other side of the door. 

Shuichi hands kokichi the blinding sponge, his fingertips brushing agents kokichis knuckles. 

When the leader's hands slithered back into his dorm, Shuichi felt a sense of yearning. 

"K-Kokichi wait! "

"Whaaaaaat"

"You promised that if I gave you the foundation and blending sponge you would let me in."

Kokichi opens the door however he turns quickly on his feet, facing away from Shuichi.

"Nyehehe make yourself at home." He says in a cheerful voice. 

  
  
  


* * * * * * * *

Kokichi heads to the bathroom and closes the door behind him. 

"Kokichi wait!"

"I need my space Shuichi gush. Give me some privacy " he whines, locking the door just in case. 

He placed the objects in his hands on the countersink, then grabs a rubber band from the small pile.

The small boy gathers his hair and ties it into a ponytail.

"Don't go snooping around my stuff Mr.Detective. You won't find any clues on how I will assert world domination." He taunted, brushing his bangs to the side. The supreme leader placed a few eye drops in his eyes to get rid of the redness in his eyes.

He hears a few muffled curses under Shuichi's breath, followed by the sound of boxes falling.

"You had one job Shuichi" he sighs, a small smile on his face as he unscrews the bottle and taps brush under his eyes, in the shape of an upside-down triangle.

"Ah sorry, kokichi! It just fell on its own." Shuichi says with a bit of a high pitch tone.

"Nyehehe your such a liar Shuichi. I pity your poor attempt" he teased, dapping the sponge to blend the foundation into the skin. Kokichi expects Shuichi to get a foundation to match his skin tones. Of course, the great detective was so observant.

"Maybe I could learn a thing or two from you." He says with a small laugh.

Well I can't teach you in my current state

"What was that kokichi?" Shuichi asked, followed by a few footsteps towards the bathroom door.

Shit

"I said well I can't-" he quickly covers his mouth with his hands, dropping what was in his hands.

The sponge, along with the bottle of foundation falls to the floor, the sound of glass shattering made him tense in knees.

He backs away, hitting his back agents the wall.

"Kokichi! Kokichi are you okay? open the door!" Shuichi demanded, twisting the door handle to no effect.

"IM ANYTHING BUT OKAY!" His screams muffled by his shaking hands. The surprises in the supreme leader's eyes resembles that of an animal in danger, twaiting to be slaughtered.

His knees buckle and he falls to the ground. 

The banging on the door stops, the silence made Kokichis hair on the back of his neck stick up. His heart stuck in his chest.

Then he hears footsteps walking away, and the sound of a door opening and closing.

He left...

Kokichi was left alone, in the bathroom with nothing but liquid foundation spilling through the chunks of glass.

He tried to constraint on the water dripping from the sink, yet, the more he focused on the water splashing down the drain, the more he felt himself slowly lose himself.

He slowly lets his hands down from his mouth, pulling at the skin below his bottom lip causing it to poke out.

”I'm truly alone.” the words barely a whisper.

Then, he lets out a laugh from his throat. Slowly he begins to spiral downward into uneven laughter.

He runs his hands through his hair, pulling at the roots as tears begin to spill from his eyes. 

The air escaped from his lunges, as he proceeds to drown into despair.

Is this what monakuma wanted

For him to experience true despair.

Time slipped through his fingers as he felt his throat dry up. He begins to go into a coughing fit, now clenching onto his chest, heaving. 

"Kokichi! Kokichi it's me Shuichi!" The voice sounded as if it was in a tunnel, an echo in the distance. 

"Kokichi, drink some water." Kokichi lifts his head and subconsciously opens his mouth. Water fills his mouth and he swallows than chokes halfway down. 

He coughed out rest of the water,covering his mouth with his hands. When he is hunched over a warm hand begins to rub circles on his back. 

”Its okay Kokichi, I’m here, breath with me okay. ” his voice was shaking slightly, however he tried his best to cover up his fear with false conference. He needed to be strong, for Kokichi’s sake.

Kokichi removes his hands from his mouth, and has them planted on the ground.

Than he felt a leather gloved hand scoop up his hands together, holding them. He didn't have to look up to know, that it was Kirumi.

The purple hair boy fallows Shuichi's lead, breathing in and out slowly. First breathing in through his chest and out through his nose.

His breathing soon became more steady, and eventually he is able to beat normally again. 

He felt something on his chin, lifting his head. Kokichi opens his eyes, meeting warm caring orbs of Light green.

He looks behind her and sees Kibbo, Kaito, and Tenko. He assumed Tenko busted the door down, sense neither Kaito nor Kibbo is strong enough to kick the door down. 

Kirumi kneeled in front of him, Shuichi on kokichis left side, hand still on the smaller boys back. 

Kirumi notices the trail of washed-out foundation on his skin, a sad smile on his face. 

”He tried to hide... even in this state.” she thinks to herself.

She removes her hand from kokichis chin and takes off her right glove. 

Kirumi lifted kokichis bangs to feel his temperature.

"Is Kokichi okay? Is he contaminated with the virus? " Kibbo asked in a panicked voice. 

"Does he LOOK okay? He needs medical care right away." Kaito said.

Kirumis hands were cold on kokichis burning forehead, feeling soothing almost.

"Oh dear, it appears that he is burning up." She removes her hand from kokichis forehead, sliding her glove back on. 

"Shuichi, can you help me escort kokichi to the hospital."

"Wait? There's a hospital?" Kokichi asked in a haze, his eyes half-closed. He felt completely drained, like all of his energy left when he screamed.

"Yeah, monakuma had the monocubs built it," Shuichi explains.

"I... I can't walk there by myself." Kokichi insisted, not realizing that the virus is making him say the opposite of what he wanted to say. He stands up, trying to move past Kirumi. Then suddenly the floor vanished beneath his feet as his legs turned to jelly.

His breath hitched as he braced for impact, his eyes shooting wide with fear.

Suddenly, he felt cold hands catch his fall. They were metal, and although kibbo tried to be gentle the grip on kikichs waist would leave bruises. 

Sense kibbo was the closet to kokichi, he caught the small boy.

"K-kokichi be careful!" He stutters, helping him stand. 

"Yeah dont push yourself," Tanko suggested, moving out of the doorway towards Kokichi.

"Man, it's weird seeing him like this," Kaito says.

Kokichi slowly lifted his head to get a look at Kaito. He hated that sympathetic look on the astronaut's face, made him almost want to puke.

He tries to glare at him, however, his vision slowly becomes blurry. His eyelids grow heavy like lead.

"You..you..bastard" the insult came across as one last attempt to try and keep up his facade. However, his speech was slow and staggered.

Then, all at once, the world turned to black.

* * * * * *


	4. Glowing Stars

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Kokichi is visited by the personification of his lies.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Okay so I just figured out how to change fonts on here. Sorry it took me awhile. Hopefully I can go back and edit some things.   
> I hope you like the chapter ❤️

_" So...what now.”_

Kokichi looks over his shoulder to see...himself? The other kokichi had his hands behind his back, his head tilted to the side with a bored expression on his face.

_" God this is boring.”_

He sighs, before twirling on his hell's and heading into the endless void. Wherever Kokichi and, himself, was, wasn't ordinary. The walls were pitch black, along with the floor. However, he could see his other-self without the help of light. The walls felt endless, Kokichi wonders if how long he could run forward till he eventually meets a wall, or if he would forever run into endless nothingness. "W-wait!" He takes a step forward, reaching a hand out to grab at his shoulders. He turns around, facing kokichi, a smirk on his face. 

_" Awwwe what's wrong kokichi? Getting lonely, are we?_

He taunts him, fluttering his eyelashes before taking a step forward and pushing his fingertips agents the real Kokichis forehead. As if he was a feather, kokichi falls backward. 

The ground begins to glitch out, as if he was in some kind of simulation, the walls flashing reds and blues. All the colors, flashing before his eyes was overestimating, causing his head to throb in pain. 

He closed his eyes shut in hopes of not getting blinded by the lights. Yet even with his eyes closed, he could still see the faint flashes of orange and yellow.

Then, came the fall. He was falling into what felt like a never-ending void, wind flowing through his hair and hitting his back. 

Suddenly without warning, he stopped. His body now floating lifelessly in midair. Kokichi opens his eyes slowly, then he gasped as he takes in the sight before him. 

His whole body was surrounded by glowing stars. They looked exactly like the kind that Shuichi gave him. He sits up, still floating. Extending his arm out to grab a light blue one. Unfortunately, it glitches out like a hologram. His light pink fingertips seeping through the light blue hues. Even in his dreams he feels as if he can't reach him.

” _What now. You're compromised...”_

A smug voice, no his voice, calls to him.

”I...I don't know...Guess I just have to come up with another plan to end this killing game.”

_ ”Hmmm.. a plan without lying. Is that even possible? _

" I...”

He licks his lower lip, his eyebrows forward.

”I...I don't know.” He had to at least try right? That is, if he even can.

What was this empty feeling in his chest, it was as if a black hole begin to take form in his ribcage.

He placed his hand on his chest, only to shiver in fear when he realized that there indeed was a hole nesting inside his chest.

The hole was slowly eating away at him, and he immediately knew what the void represented...

Gulit.


	5. Cause I'm a lair

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Kokichi wakes up in the hospital much to his displeasure.  
> He slowly begins to let people in as the disease gets worse.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> GUYS I FIXED CHAPTER 3. I apologize that some stuff was missing. It didn't save properly and I was unaware of it.

When he opens his eyes, he is greeted with a white ceiling. Disappointed that he wasn't greeted to his glow in the dark stars that he has grown accustomed to.

He sits up, rubbing his eyes with the palm of his hands. Confusion arose when he examined his palms and noticed no foundation was on them. He doesn't even notice that his hair is no longer tied into a ponytail.

The boy was beyond uncertain as to where he was, his memory hazy due to lack of sleep these past few days. Well if he was being honest with himself, only around 8 hours those four...wait what day is it?

He looks around the room to find anything that could be a clue, however, all he notices is a chair beside his bed, a TV hanging from the ceiling, and a vase filled with flowers from the courtyard. The flowers looked as if they needed water tho, already turning brown.

The walls looked as if they were painted in a rush, uneven coats of white paint decorating the walls. 

Kokichi looks at his arms, noticing that he is no longer wearing his signature attire. But instead a light blue hospital gown. 

Hospital...

_ "Shuichi, can you help me take Kokichi to the hospital." _

Shit

The door swings open, Kokichi turns his head to the left to see Shuichi.

"You're finally awake." He says with a relieved smile. 

"Nyehehe of course I'm awake! Couldn't sleep all day now could I"

"Actually you did," Shuchi says with a small laugh, heading over to the other side of the bed, taking a set in the chair.

"I did what!"

"Yeah, you passed out. Kibbio tried to hold onto you but he has the strength of a senior citizen so he almost dropped you. Then tenko was about to carry you herself, however, Kirumi insisted on carrying you."

"Why didn't you offer Shuichi." He huffs, crossing his arms.

"I'm not that strong." He explained with a nervous chuckle, scratching his neck.

Shuichi looks at his shoes, shifting his gaze back up to Kokichi. The dark circles that caved into his skin are lighter now, which made him feel a bit more relieved.

"Kokichi...about what happened the other day, I know-"

"Sorry to interrupt Shuichi, but I'm rather thirsty. Could you perhaps get me some water? Pretty ple-"

"I know you have it, Kokichi. The despair disease." Shuichi cuts through kokichis words, his voice calm yet firm. 

Kokichi swallows a lump in his throat, only making his mouth drier. 

He plasters on a smile, before cheerfully adding "Nice work Mr. Ultimate Detective! Nothing gets past you, no sir!"

Shuchi leans in his set, hands resting on his thighs. Kokichi didn't like the look in the detective's eyes, he felt as if he was picking him apart and trying to solve him like a puzzle. 

"So, based on my deductions it's clear to me that you can only tell the truth, isn't that right, kokichi."

The composure in his voice, it only unnerved Kokichi more. Unaware that he was picking at the skin around his nails, and scratching at the nail polish. 

The detective's eyes glanced down at the pale boy's hands, noting the beads of blood beginning to form around his nails.

"Hey, it's okay," Shuichi assured him, reaching out to grab Kokichi's hand. 

Kokichi polls his hands away, hiding them under the bed's covers.

"Sorry..." Shuichi apologies, placing his hands back into his lap.

Kokichi frowns, his bottom lip sticking out.

"You don't have to apologize so much Shuichi." 

"Yeah your right, sor...I mean, okay."

The purple hair boy scratches his arm, looking back at Shuichi. The deceives hand resting on his chin. 

After a few moments, he glanced back at the boy in the hospital bed. 

"Why won't you let others in, Kokichi." 

Kokichi felt a twinge of nausea, his stomach turning upside down.

"I...I'm scared." He says with gritted teeth, his hand squeezing his arm.

Shuichi's eyes widened in shock, his mouth a gap. "You're scared?"

Kokichis eyebrows forward, as a pained smile makes the corners of his eyes crinkle.

"Fucking terrified." He says in a bitter tone, a small laugh slipping between his chapped lips.

"We...we are all scared kokichi. Every one of us is scared, you're not alone." Shuichi reassures his friend, those gray eyes of his filled with nothing but kindness, kindness kokichi thinks he doesn't deserve.

"I don't want you to Pity me, Shuichi..." his voice was low, a bit raspy.

"Here, lemme get you some water." Shuichi stands up from his set, his bangs falling over his eyes. He moves them behind his ear, which only made kokichis heart swoon.

"And, I don't pity you kokichi." He adds, looking to meet his gaze.

"Then why are you here..." he glared, his teeth sinking into the skin of his lip. 

Shuichi knew Kokichi was just trying to push him away. It was a sad attempt on Kokichis part, which in some way did make Shuichi pity Kokichi. However, pity wasn't the reason he was here.

"I guess you could say, it's cause I care about you." He says, his voice sounding hopeful. 

Kokichis teeth let go of his lip, his eyebrows raised into his bangs.

"You... your not lying are you?"

"I think that's more of your thing."

"Was." Kokichi corrected him with a frown.

"I'm sure that once we find a cure, you'll be lying again in no time." He says with a smile, heading towards the door. 

_ You think so, hah. _

Kokichi watched as the detective left, closing the door behind him. He would be lying to himself if he said he felt a bit empty without shuichis presence.

After a couple of minutes pass by, hears a knock on his door.

"Shuichi you don't have to knock." He says with a cough. 

"It's Kibbo." 

Kibbo? What's he doing here?

  
  


"You can come in," 

The door opens slowly, as if Kibbo was hesitating. He steps into the room, with a... picnic basket?

"What's with the basket? We gonna have a picnic or something?”

Kibbo perks up, "Oh this!" He lifts the lid of the woven basket.

He heads over to where the flower vase was, and reaches into the picnic basket.

"Oh no! I made a miscommunication!" He yelped, his ahoga sparking up.

Kokichi raised an eyebrow, tilting his head to the side.

The door open, making Kokich jump in the bed. He lets out a curse, followed by a cough.

"Kibbo! Is everything okay!?" Shuichi asked, rushing to his side. Then he quickly turns his head to look at Kokichi, his eyes wide. Checking to make sure Kokichi was okay. 

"I.. the flowers, they died." He sighs in defeat, polling out a handful of sad-looking daffodils.

Shuichi's head slumps down as his shoulders relaxed, a sigh escaping his lips.

"Kibbio, maybe next time don't scream in a hospital." He adds, "Almost gave me a heart attack.”

"My apologies Shuichi, I was just so excited, I thought for sure these wouldn't die like the last pair."

"When did you pick them?" Kokichi asked. His scratchy voice reminded Shuichi of the water bottle in his hand. He quickly hands it over to kokichi, apologizing for taking so long.

Kokichi twists the cap off, then takes a long gulp.

"I picked them at exactly 6:30 am this morning. Then put them in this basket for safekeeping..."

"Uh Kiibo, you need to put them in water," Shuichi says with a nervous smile.

"What! Oh, your right! I should've known they are technically living things, and living things need water." Kibbio scolded himself, hand resting on his forehead.

"I appreciate the thought Kibbio." The words were a shock to everyone in the room. Especially Kokichi, for he had no intention of talking, regardless, the words slipped from his mouth without warning.

"You don't have to humor me kokichi," Kibbio spoke bluntly.

"He isn't kibbo."

"W-what? How do you know?" Kibbo questioned.

"Wait kibbo doesn't know?" Kokichi seemed surprised. He thought that either Shuichi or Kirumi would've told the others. Now that he thinks about it, that was rather stupid of them to not inform their classmates.

"Know about what?" The robot says in a panicked voice, "You two aren't playing a prank on me are you?"

"Of course not kibbo. You have my word." Shuichi confronts him. He sounded so honest, it made Kokichi question why he didn't trust him sooner.

Then he remained himself why he shouldn't get too close to Shuichi, just in case.

Cause something happens to everyone he gets close to.

First, it was Rantaro, then Dice. He smothered the thought, trying to stay focused on the current conversation.

"Okay, I trust you Shuichi." 

"Ouch, that's harsh," Kokich spoke dramatically, hand resting on his chest.

"Do you blame him tho?" Shuichi remarks, a teasing smile on his face.

Kokichi rolls his eyes, not bothering to hide the smile creeping upon his face.

Kibbio looks over at Kokici, than at Shuichi. 

"I'm confused..." he says weakly.

"Oh ah right. Well uh, Kokichi can only tell the truth." Shuichi clarified.

It was as if something inside of kibbio clicked as he came to the realization. He snaps his fingers, his mouth an O.

"Oh! That makes sense! Wait, does that mean what you said to me a few days ago was true kokichi."

"Yeah...it's true..." he mumbles, his shoulders hunched up as holds onto his arms.

"Wait what is?" Shuichi asked, taking a step towards kokichi. 

"That I... I'm mean to people.. to" his fingers squeeze the pale skin of his upper arms. He looks away, staring at the wall.

"To distance myself from them...to make them hate me. I...I want to end this killing game. For good. I can't do that if...if I'm vulnerable." His voice was slow as if he was struggling to hold himself back from talking. 

However, he didn't slap himself or covered his mouth to prevent the words from spilling out. 

Kokichi was fighting his instincts, to push people away. To not trust anyone in the fear of ending up like Kaede. 

Or having anyone get killed with him...

"Cause once you try to work with others...you end up getting killed...that's how this game works,” he says with a grimace.

”That's why I got infected...cause monokuma realized my true intentions of all of us sharing our motive videos.”

"I thought the reason you made us share our motive videos was start a killing?" Kibbo stated in a confused tone. 

"That was a lie, I'm a liar after all..." he says bitterly, bringing his knees as if trying to curl into himself. His hands begin to shake, still clutching onto his upper arms. Then he felt something warm agents them.

"Kokichi...look at me." Shuichi requested softly, his voice making Kokichi loosen his grip on his arm.

He turns his head, then lifts his chin to look Shuichi directly in the eyes. Those kinds, gentle gray eyes.

Kokichis expression, on the other hand, was filled with pain and sorrow. His lips a line as his eyebrows pushing together to meet in the middle of his forehead.

"It's okay."

Those words however have the opposite effect Shuichi was looking for. 

"But it's not okay stupid! Are you blind? We're all going to die and it's my fault!" He screams, pulling at his hair as he hunched over.

"It's all my fault damnit!" His voice was breaking, as sobs began to escape his chest.

He looked up to where he assumed Shuichi was, cause he couldn't see due to hid eyes squinting as he yelled,

"I lost my only Defense mechanism! The only thing that could help me end this killing game! So don't lie to me and tell me it's okay!" He yanked downward at the tusk of his hair, tears escaping his eyes.

The door burst open, Kaito and Kirumi running in. 

"Shuichi are you-!?" Kaito rests his hand on Shuichi's shoulder as he comes up behind him, however, as soon as he saw kokichi, Kaitos words stop, his jaw clenching shut.

Kokichi hands slowly let go of hair, they slump to his side.

"Kokichi..." Shuichi speaks up, his voice filled with worry. Kibbo was still next to Shuichi on his right, still holding onto the basket. He was taken aback by Kokichi's outburst, not knowing what to do. 

Kokichi hesitated as he opens his eyes, as soon as he did though he immediately looks away from everyone and stares at the white sheets. 

Kirumi is now standing on the other side of the bed. She looks over to the three boys, with a concerned expression on her face. It was like everyone was waiting for someone to break the ice, not knowing what to say.

  
  
  
  


"You can't give up now Kokichi." Everyone turns to look at Kaito, even Kokichi looks over at him with wide eyes.

"How did you-"

"I was eavesdropping..." he admits with a sigh, hand resting behind his head.

"Doesn't help that the walls are incredibly thin," Kirumi adds.

"Anyways, Kokichi. We may not see eye to eye most of the time, and you piss me off sometimes...but it's not your fault man. It's nobody's fault but monokumas." Kaito spoke with confidence, not talking down to Kokichi. Rather, trying to lift his spirits.

"Blaming yourself won't get you nowhere! You hear me! When life gets you down, you get back up!" He says pumping both of his fists together, a fire igniting in his eyes. 

Kokichis instincts told him to laugh in Kaito's face, tell him that his stupid bullshit was going to get him killed in the end. That Kaito's way of thinking will only result in everyone's demise. 

But Deep down, in his core, he wanted to hear those words. He wanted the same encouragement Shuichi and Maki got. 

"Thank you Kaito...I.." he clenched into his bedsheets, the woolly fabric feeling soothing agents his fingers.

His body was shaking, even now he was fighting agents himself. He wanted to let himself tell the truth, and yet he was still trying to stop himself from spilling his true emotions.

"I...I needed...to hear that." The words were wobbly and tight. Kirumi placed a gentle touch on Kokichi's shoulder. 

"Kokichi, we are here for you. You just have to let us in." She says kindly.

"I know...but..." he begins to chew on the inside of his cheek, his chest feeling as if someone was squeezing his heart.

"It's easier said than done." He breaths out, clenching onto his chest.

"Then take your time Kokichi," Shuichi says thoughtfully. 

Kokichi still doesn't look up, scared of meeting his classmates' gaze, not wanting to admit defeat. He does nod in response, letting out an uneasy "okay."

After a few moments of silence, Shuichi speaks up. "Anything you need Kokichi?"

Kokichi let's go of the blanket, then lays his back down. His head rest on the pillow, his hair spreading out beneath him.

" I need sleep. I'm exhausted." He sighs groggily, closing his eyes.

"But it's only 5:30 pm" kibbo interjected, looking up from what he was doing. He was currently placing the dead flowers in the vase. Kokichi turns his head to look at kibbio, now noting the vase.

The vase was made of clay, and dipped in a glossy purple coat of paint. A beautiful swirl design was engraved into the vase.

"Who made the vase?" Kokichi asked, startling kibbio.

"Didn't Angie make it Kibbo? Shuichi questions.

"Oh yeah! I did see her walking towards the room Kokichi was staying in, after she visited Himiko." Kaito adds, scratching his chin.

_ I wonder why Angie made me a vase?  _

"Well before you go to sleep, may you eat a meal first. You haven't ate anything sense breakfast yesterday." Kirumi asked.

As if on cue Kokichis stomach growls, causing his cheeks to heat up.

"I'm taking that as a yes." Kirumi says with a chuckle. She leaves the room, leaving the four boys alone.

"So uh...this is awkward." Kaito said.

"You guys can leave if you want." Kokichi says, rubbing his eyes.

"I know, but it would just be weird if we just up and left." Kaito spoke.

"Well it's more weird if you guys just stood there." Kokichi sighed, shuffling around under his blanket to get more comfortable.

"I mean that would be rather awkward." Kibbio agreed.

"Okay...but if you need anything just let us know, okay." Shuichi says in a caring voice, giving Kokichi a smile.

Kokichi nods, signaling the boys to leave. 

Kaito lead the way out of the room, followed by Kiibo. 

Shuichi gives Kokichi a wave goodbye, causing the purple hair boy to smile with a soft chuckle.

  
  


"Don't let the door hit you where the good lord split you."

He adds with a smirk, and for the first time in what felt like forever, Kokichi had that playful spark in his eyes.

Shuichi chuckles, shaking his head. Some things never change. 

"See you later Kokichi." He says with a half open smile, eyes squinting. Kokichi felt a warm fuzzy feeling in his chest, and it spreads to his head to his toes. As if he was wrapped in sunshine.

Shuichi turns his back to Kokichi, heading to the door.

However once he takes one step, he felt something poll on the cuff of his sleeve.

"Stay." The voice was small, almost a mumble. 

The detective looks over his shoulder, his eyes shouting open and his eyebrows raise at the sight. 

Kokichi is sitting at the edge of the bed, his head facing down. However Shuichi can see that the tips of Kokichis ears are a tainted shade of pink.

_ He's adorable.  _

Shuichi thinks to himself, letting out a giggle.

Kokichis head springs up, giving the detective a glare. His lips forming into a pout. 

"Meanie." 

Yet this only caused Shuichi to laugh harder. His shoulders shook as he laughed.

"What's so funny?" He huffs, crossing his arms.

Shuichi turns to face him, wiping a tear from his right eye. 

"Wouldn't you like to know." He adds with a teasing smile, before walking over to the other side and siting on the chair next to the right side of kokichs bed.

Kokichi goes back to sitting up agents the pillows, turning his head to look at the detective.

"What's with the sudden confidence Shuichi? Is kaito rubbing off on you?" Kokichi asked,letting out a yawn, then begins to rub his eyes.

"I don't know actually." Shuichi admits with a nervous laugh, hand resting on his neck.

"Hm that's weird. Anyway why you staying here? Gonna try and get information out of me?" He asked sleepily, obviously not serious.

"Your the one who asked me to stay."

"Yeah true, I didn't want you to leave." The last part of that sentence made hyper aware of his condition, his heart racing with fear.

"Shit!" He cursed, chewing at his thumbnail.

"Kokich, what's wrong? 

"I think it's getting worse." He explained. 

"I mean, sure I let a few truths slip out, but now it's been more frequent..." he begins to get lost in thought, staring off into space as he thinks.

"Hey don't bite your nails Kokich." 

That snaps kokichi out of thought, he glanced down at his fingernails, noting that nail polish is mostly gone now. 

He felt as if a cloud begin to loom over him, swallowing him whole.

"You okay?" Shuichi asked in concern.

"No. I haven't noticed that I've been biting my nails these past couple of days, so the nail polish is chipping off..." he explained in a sad tune, surprising Shuichi.

" I'm sorry Kokich." 

"Rantaro painted them." Kokich said bluntly, putting his hands in his lap. His fingertips began to rub agents his knuckles.

"Wait Rantaro?" 

"Yeah. He saw I was biting them and offered to paint my nails for me. He even gave me the nail polish he used...I think he knew he was going to dye, so that's why he gave it to me." He says in a melancholic tone.

"We actually talked a few times, and I began to trust him. Sure, I still kept him at a distance, but we became good aquanautes. And then...he died..." his voice was low, sorrow filled his words as he revealed Shuichi his secret.

"After that, I knew not to get close to anyone. So I pushed people away...but you." He looks up to meet Shuichis stare. Kokichi was showing another side of him to Shuichi, this one filled with regret, and loss. 

"But you still hung out with me. Whenever we had free time, you chose to spend it with me, no matter how hard I tried to get on your nerves. You stayed, you tolerated my shity behavior and for what? I...I didn't understand. I still don't understand." A sad laugh escaped his uneven voice, he shakes his head.

He remembered when Shuichi and him would play rock paper scissors in the courtyard, and how he and Shuichi would tie, only for Kokichi to let him win in the end.

They would play all kinds of games, like poker or cards. He even tested Shuichi's kindness by playing the knife game, purposely cutting his finger with the blade.

When Shuichi wrapped his finger in bandages, he knew that Shuichi was a good person, or at least appeared to be. He still couldn't let his guard down, just in case.

He remembers looking at his bandaged finger thoughtfully, a smile on his face. Letting himself having this one moment, bask in the fact that someone cared about him.

  
  
  


"Your a strange one Shuichi. Maybe that's why I find you so fascinating." He says with a defeated smile.

  
  
  


Shuichi looks at his hands, trying to think of something to say. How should you respond? 

He takes a peek at Kokichi, the purple hair boy staring daggers into him, waiting for an answer.

Shuichi takes a deep breath, trying to ignore his fast heart rate.

"I'm sorry Kokichi, I truly am. I... I have felt similar pain before...when I lost her." He hesitated at the last part, not knowing how Kokichi felt about Kaede. Does Kokichi hold Kaede responsible for his friends death? 

"You can say her name. I don't hate Kaede."The words that left Kokichs mouth made Shuichi felt cold, his poster stifling.

"Oh sorry..." Kokichi said, sounded guilty.

"No it's fine.. It's just no one talks about it…”

"You just want to talk to someone about it, right? Yeah..I get it." The sadness in Kokichs voice stinging like a paper cut. 

Shuchi felt a strange sense of comfort in relating to Kokichis problems, knowing that he wasn't alone in feeling this way.

"I'm sorry about Rantaro, I wish I haven't let my guard down around Kaede, I could've stopped her." 

”I felt that way with Rantaro too..” Kokichi confessed, sadness in his voice.

He reached out, and took Shuchis hand. The expression on Kokichis face was serious, his eyes locking onto Shuchis.

”But it's not your fault Shuichi. I know you still think it is, even after Kaito told you it wasn't, same with Kade. But trust me. It wasn't your fault.”

”I know, but I can't help but feel responsible for her death.” his voice was on the urge of breaking, as the memory of Kade being crushed replayed in his mind.

Shuichi felt warm water soak up his eyes, he lets go of Kokichis hands to try and wipe away the tears. But they wouldn't stop, no matter how hard he tried to suppress them. His throat tightens as he tries to hold back a sob.

  
  


Then he felt surrounded in warmth as if someone wrapped a blanket around him. He cries harder into Kokichis shoulder, letting go of the emotions he suppressed. 

Even though he was training with Kaito and Makki, and was talking to people. Even after he would go out of his way to change, and get to move forward, he still wasn't over Kaede’s death. He was still haunted by her execution, how the memory will forever scar him.

Kokichi didn't know how go comfort Shuichi. He wasn't good with coping with his own emotions half the time, how was he supposed to help others if he didn't know how to help himself.

So he did the only thing that came to mind, and that was to hug Shuichi and let him cry. 

And Shuichi did, he cried for a good 5 minutes before calming down. Kokichi unwraps his arms around Shuchi and takes a step back. 

Shuchi was still sitting on the chair, he looks up to see Kokichi giving him a sympathetic smile.

”You feeling better, Shuichi?” he asked, his voice soft. It was strange to Shuichi, not hearing Kokichi in his usually playful tone. Instead, see a warmer side to the trickster.

Shuichi sniffs, wiping his face with his sleeve. 

”Yeah, I feel a bit better.”

”Good, want to play cards while we wait for Kirumi? Maybe that will cheer you up?”

”Did you just say you were tired?” 

”I'm not tired anymore.” Kokichi says nonchalantly, taking a set at the edge of the bed. 

”I think a game of cards would be a nice distraction.” Shuchi says. His nose was now pink, making him look as if he had a cold.

”Prepare to lose!” 

”Game on Kokichi.” 

After they realized neither one of them had a stack of cards on hand, they both settled for rock paper scissors instead. Even if it would be for a moment, the boys forgot about their problems and felt comfort in each other's company. 

  
  


**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Wow this chapter was Interesting to write. Made myself emotional at times. Hope y'all enjoyed it. Have a lovely day and stay safe out there ❤️


	6. I went back and fixed Chapter 3

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Sorry some technical errors happened and it resulted in Chapter 3 missing some parts. I went back and fixed it, I apologize on my behalf.

Sorry some technical errors happened and it resulted in Chapter 3 missing some parts. I went back and fixed it, I apologize on my behalf.


	7. Cheap fabric softener

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Kokichi’s fever only gets worse. A new secret is now kept among Kirumi, Kaito, Kiibo Shuichi and Kokichi. And Shuichi gets to learn more about Kokichis past, and his organization Dice.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Trigger warning for sewing needles
> 
> Also the dice members are the same ones from the game. If you would like me to add a photo with all of the names I head cannon them to have just ask in the comments. Also if I did idk how I would do it cause I've never Added a photo to an ao3 fanfic before lol

_Why did you do that Kokichi?_

The boy in question is facing his shadow, the name he has given to the personification of his lies.

”You're gonna have to be more specific than that.”

He says with annoyance. Kokichi just wanted this conversation to be over with already. He had better things to do, like coming up with a new plan to end this killing game.

_Why did you make yourself vulnerable?_

”I couldn't help it okay! I tried to not speak, but the words wouldn't stop…” he says with shame, lowering his head so his bangs covered his eyes.

_God your so stupid._ Shadow walks up towards him, his left hand hidden behind his back.

Kokichi begins to walk backwards, his heart racing faster. He could feel a malicious intent behind Shadow's smile, showing white teeth.

Then he froze in horror as his back hits agents a wall, and a hand cold like frostbite, wrapped around his throat.

_Guess we just have to fix that problem._

His hand slowly creeps from behind him, revealing a needle. String red as blood was tired to the head.

Kokichis face was drained of color, fear shaking him to his bones. He tries to lift his leg, to kick Shadow, but his legs were unable to move.

He glanced down, and gasped as he saw that chains were holding his ankles down. He goes to move his ram next, but it was chained to the wall behind him.

_There is nowhere to run._

His voice was filled with malice, his eyes twitch in anger.

Kokichi was unable to speak due to fear, his chest in agonizing pain. He felt completely helpless, unable to stop his fate.

Shadow slowly brings the tip of the needle to Kokichis upper lip, hovering the sharp edge above his skin in a teasing motion. Koichi to suppress a shiver. 

_What's wrong Kokichi? Suddenly no longer in the mood to talk?_

Without warning, he drags the needle across Kokichi’s cheek, drawing blood. Kokichi felt a spike of adrenaline, closing his eyes in pain. 

_It's time I sew that mouth shut._

”STOP”

  
  


****

Kokichi was breathing heavily in his sleep, clenching his jaw. Sweat dripping down his forehead. His face, pale like a ghost, the only color was pink dusting his cheeks and forehead.

Kirumi was on his left side gently shaking his shoulders to try and wake him up.

Shuichi was on the right side, sitting on the wooden chair. His legs fidgeting up and down as he played with his hands. 

Kaito placed a comforting hand on his friend's shoulder. He knew that Shuchi and Kokichi had a friendship rivalry relationship he didn't quite understand. However, he wanted to support his friend no matter what. After the events that happened yesterday, he had hoped that Kokichi would change. 

Shuchi looks up at Kaito and gives him a smile that doesn't meet his eyes. It was an attempt to show that he appreciated the kind gesture.

”Kokichi, Kokichi please wake up.” Kirumi speaks, hoping that this would be enough to wake him up.

The sound of Kirumis voice caused Kokichis eyes to sluggishly open. He gasped for air, making both Kaito and Shuchi to turn their attention to Kokichi.

His chest is moving up and down, as he tries to catch his breath. 

Kirumi helped Kokichi sit up, her hand resting on his back. She helps him slow his breathing, using the same breathing exercise Shuichi used when Kokichi had a panic attack.

Once he was able to get his breathing steady, Kirumi asked Shuichi if he could move Kokichis pillows so he could lay on them sitting up. 

Shuchi does so quickly, not sitting back down as he watches Kirumi lined Kokichi agents the pillows.

”You okay?” Shuchi asked with concern, his eyes focused on Kokochi.

”Just had a nightmare.” Kokichi says as if he was in a haze, his eyes now half-closed. He looked as if he was going to pass out at any moment now.

Kirumi takes out a temperature scanner from one of the pockets in her dress, then proceeds to hover it over Kokichis forehead to take his temperature.

”I'm sorry Kokichi, I've had my fair share of nightmares myself.” He says sympathetically. Ever since this killing gas started, he would often be granted with nightmares he can't even begin to comprehend. 

The temperature scanner beeps. Kirumi brings the machine to her face, the corners of her mouth going down as her eyebrows pinch. Her expression only made Shuich panic more. 

“He’s 104.” Her voice on edge. “It’s higher than it was yesterday…”

Shuichu felt his chest tighten, sinking his teeth into his cheek. “Is there something we can do!? There has to be, right?” He asked desperately, his voice was loud, as if he yelled loud enough some form of god would answer him, and his pleas. 

Kirumi closed her eyes, her shoulders tightening. “All we can do Is keep him hydrated, and try to make sure he gets plenty of rest. Kiibo and I already looked all over the school, and couldn't find any medicine.”She says in defeat. 

“I hate to say this, but have you asked monokuma.” Kaito suggested. Kokichi watched as Kaito talked with his hands, suppressed that he even wanted to help him. Well he did try to encourage him yesterday, however Kokichi didn't know if Kaito did that cause he’s a nice guy, or because he genuinely cares. 

He wants to believe him, however he still has that isse of Trust in the current situation he is in. 

“Yes, we have.”

  
What did he say?” Shuichi asked, glancing down at Kokichi. He hadn't noticed how his violet eyes looked as if they were sinking into his skull. 

Kokichi didn't like that worried expression on the detective's face, so he gave him a tired smirk, sticking out his tongue. Then ends up going into a coughing fit. 

Kirumi takes the glass of water that was resting next to the vase, and hands it to Kokichi. The purple haired boy chugs the water down. 

“He said that if we wanted medicine, we would have to kill someone.” Her voice heavy like lead, hand resting on her nose. 

Kokichi chokes on his drink, covering his hand over his mouth. Shuichi placed a hand on Kokichis back, his stomach turning at how warm his friend was. 

“W-what?” Kaito's voice rose in both fear and anger, at monokuma. 

“Like hell we would do that! We can find medicine, without killing someone...right?” He said in denial, denial of their situation. Denial of the killing game starting up all over again. 

“No..I won't let another killing happen.”Kokichi says through gritted teeth, clenching onto the glass. Shuichi takes the cup from Kokichis hand, not wanting him to shatter it. 

“Do the other’s know?” Shuichi asked.

“Only I and Kibbo know, now you three as well. It would be best that we confined this information from anyone else.” Kirumi suggested. 

Kokichi stayed silent, as he drifted in and out of consciousness. He honestly didn't care anymore, he just wanted this nightmare he was living in to be over. 

”Kokichi, are you okay?” 

The boy in question uses what's left of his energy to look over at Shuchi, who was still standing by his bedside.

The detective's eyes locked with his. Kokichi always thought they where like the color of gravestones. Kind of ironic cause it felt like Shuichi carrying about him was going to be the death of him.

Don't get him wrong, he's grateful that Shuchi cares about him, however Shuchi is now his weakness. His Achilles heel, in a way. The place where he is most vulnerable.

  
  


”I just want this to be over with.” he says with a yawn, closing his eyes.

Maybe he could just go back to sleep, and escape this reality. 

Hopefully this time he will take up in a pleasant dream, instead of whatever horror greeted him this morning.

”So this is a secret between the four of us, including Kibbio, correct?” Shuichi asked.

Kirumi nods, ”Indeed, that would be the safest bet. I will tell Kiibo this as well, just to make sure he doesn't tell anyone.”

Kokichi sleepiness only got stronger, his eyelids heavy like rocks. 

Eventually, everyone's voices around him begin to blurry away. As he succumbed to sleep.

* * 

  
  


Kokichi eyelashes flutter as he begins to wake up. His eyes met with the empty ceiling he loathed seeing. He missed the comfort of his room, how he felt safe. 

Now he is in some hospital, not even knowing if the room he was staying in had a lock.

He felt something cold on his forehead. Kolichi touches it with his fingertips, surprised that he felt the wait cloth. 

He then realized that he wasn't sitting agents the pillow, rather laying his head atop the pillow, facing upwards.

”How are you feeling?” A voice calls to his right. He takes a glance, seeing none other than the detective. Shuichi was sitting on a cushion, probably got tired of sitting on wood for long periods. A closed book resting in his lap, his hand resting atop of the velvet cover.

”Better, do I still have a temperature?” he asked, placing a hand on the cloth to keep it in place as he turns on his right side. It felt like it took so much effort just to do the simple act, his body flushed.

”Kirumi checked it while you were sleeping, you actually went down to 102.”

“That’s still high Shuichi.” He says with a small laugh. 

“Yeah..Well I hope the temperature goes down.” Shuichi says hopefully, tucking a peace of his hair behind his ear.

“What book are you reading?” Kokichi asked, both curious and not wanting the conversation to end.

Shuichi's eyes glimmer, even if it was just for a second. “Oh! I’ve actually been re-reading this book series I read back in middle school. I only ever made it to the 3rd book in the series, however now I am on book 5.” Shuci explains with a chuckle, a hand resting on his neck.

“You're such a fanboy.” Kokichi teases playfully, a sleepy smile on his face. 

Shuichi lips are a pout, his cheeks pink. “You seem to be in a good mood.”

“Nah, I just feel loopy. Kinnda flushed.” He says with a yawn. 

“What’s the series called?”

“A series of unfortunate events.” 

Kokichi hums at the name, the book title sounded familiar. “Oh, Box read that series.” He says with a nostalgic smile. 

“Box?” Shuichi's eyebrow rose.

“ Yeah, she is a Dice member. She is the youngest in our group, joined at 10 years old.” He explained with a special sparkle in his eyes. 

Shuichi thought back on Kokichis motive video, how it said this group of pranksters were like family to him.

He wonders how he’s coping with the fact that they could be in danger.

“Was she the one with the long hair? Hugging her knees?” He asked.

“Woooow. You have such a good memory mister detective. And yeah, that’s her.”

“Why the name box?” Shuichi asked with a small chuckle. 

“Cause we found her in a box.” He says nonchalantly. However, Shuchi's eyes were wide resembling that of an owl, causing Kokichi to laugh. 

”You found her in a box? Sorry I need context.” he says with a nervous chuckle. 

Kokichi's arm starts to get tired from him laying on his side, so he shuffles back to laying down. 

He could still remember the smell of gasoline in the air, from all the moving cars. The sound of rain dripping from the roofs of apartments, and onto the concrete.

” Me and Haru stumbled upon her one morning. In an alleyway. She was soaked to the bone, taking shelter inside a box. And no we didn't give the name to her, that's what she wanted to be called.” 

”We took her in, and ever since she's lived in our headquarters.” 

Haru was like the big sister of the group, after all she was the oldest. Ninteen. Last Kokichi was with Dice, she and Socks were saving up money to buy them a new HQ. 

Not that they didn't like their current headquarters, it was just hard to live in during winter without heat conditioning. 

”She wasn't there by herself right?” 

”Nope. She had me, Seven, and Makoto to keep her company.” Kokichi says a bit too cheerful, popping the O.

”Wait, you were homeless Kokichi?” Shuchi sounded worried, his voice cracking a bit. 

Kokichi felt dread keep upon him, God was he going to have to explain his whole back story to Shuchi. Well, since he felt foggy due to his fever, as well as his body aching as if crying out for help, he didn't feel like putting up a fight with this cursed disease.

”Yeah, I never really had parents. I ran away from an orphanage, but whoever was in charge didn't bother to try and lili ol like me.” he says as if it was no big deal, that growing up without an adult rule model was...okay?

”Kokichi, I'm sorry.”

”Don't be, It's all in the past.” he assures him.

”So, you're not bothered by it at all?”

”To be honest, I didn't need my parents. Because I ended up finding my own family. Besides, maybe they couldn't handle a child so they figured handing me over to adoption was a good idea.” he adds, moving the blanket upwards to cover his chest. Even though he was flushed, feeling as if his skin crawling with fire ants, the silky fabric was comforting to him. He felt the fabric between his fingers, the censation grounding him. 

He would usually play with playdough, or cut up bars of soup with a knife he found in the kitchen. 

“I’m glad you had them.” Shuchi said with a genuine smile, his shoulders loosening. 

“I’m glad I had them too.” Kokichi says almost dreamlike, his voice soft but gentle. He then closed his eyes, getting lost in the happy memories him and his family had. How he missed the days him and Dice would just exist. 

How he would wake up, in a pile of blankets. They smelled of cheap fabric softener, how comforting and safe the smell made him feel. Sunlight would hit eyes, for there was always a crack in the blanket fort he slept in. How he fell asleep hearing Seven snoring echoing across the abandoned school. 

When he went to wake up Box she always slept with Makoto. The too would be sleeping on a pile of fluffy blankets to mimic a mattress. Makoto always slept on the right side, facing away from Haru. Whale the girl with long dirty blond hair would fall asleep facing the ceiling. Hugging onto a light brown teddy bear with sewn on button eyes. 

Now he wakes up by himself, alone in his dorm. Sure, his dorm was his safe haven to escape the reality of the killing game. And yet he still yearns for the smell of cheap fabric softener. 

“I…” He swallows a lump in his throat, fluttering his eyelashes as he tries to fight back against the tears. 

“I miss them so much.” He confessed, his voice tight and scratchy. He drags his hands over his eyes, digging his knuckles into his eyelids. 

Once Kokichi placed his hand down on the blanket, he felt skin hold his hand. He looks over, and sees Shuchi still sitting in the chair by his bedside. His eyes looked sad, yet sympathetic. 

“Jezze your hands are cold.” He says with a watery smile. 

“And yours are burning.” Shuchi responded with a comforting smile. Rubbing circles around Kokichis knuckles. 

“Is there anything I can do to help you through this?” Shuichi asked, offering his support to Kokichi. 

The purple hair boy felt his chest harden, he let a few tears escape as he Shuichi in on his vulnerability. 

“Just don't leave me, okay.” he utters the words with a sniff. He has accepted his emotions for Shuichi, that he likes his company. That when he’s with him, he feels as if he can conquer the world. As well as how comfortable and safe he makes him feel, he no longer questions Shuichi's kindness, but rather he wonders if he truly deserves Shuichi’s compassion.

“I won't leave you, okay.” He promised, giving Kokichs pale hand a small squeeze. 

Kokichi smiles, though it's quivering due to him trying to hold back a sob. 

“Nyheheh thank you Shuichi. Where would I be without my second in command.When we get out of here, Imma introduce you to everyone.” He claimed, then exhaled a breath from his chest. 

“So you better make a good impression okay.”Kokichi ordered, his other finger between his lips in his signature pose. 

“If I can live up to the expectations of your high and mighty organization that is.” He smiled. 

Kokichi would be lying if he said that Shuichis teasing isn't comforting in a way. It felt as if Shuichi was the only normacy he had anymore. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hope you all liked this chapter, I worked extra heard on it. Thank you so much for the nice comments, kudos, bookmarks and overall just reading this fanfic. I appreciate it a lot ❤️


	8. Candy cigarettes

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Everything seems too good to be true. Kokichi’s fever has gone down, and he has gotten closer to his classmates.  
> Everyone is still on guard however, not knowing if this is all part of Monokumas plan. When Kokichi sneaks out after having a nightmare, he sees someone he hasn't talked to in a long time.

The bedroom was filled with 10 orphans, five kids sleeping in their respective beds lined up on either side of the room. 

Yet there was one 13-year-old boy who wasn’t asleep. Hair black like raven feathers. 

He stayed still, his eyes shoot wide open. Kokichis heart was beating in his small chest, he felt as if the nannies could hear it from the from there respective offices. The boy takes a peek outside the window, the full moon highlighting his cheekbones. 

Kokichi moves the puffy blanket off of his slim body, before sliding off the bed. His feet touched the cold ground, as he didn’t bother to put on socks in fear of sliding across the marble floor.

He kneels on his knees and extended his arm under his bed. Feeling around till he felt the rough texture of rope. Taking the rope in his hands, he pulls out from under the bed. 

Standing up, he dusted off his gray sweatpants. His oversized black T-shirt hanging off his shoulders like a kid on monkey bars. 

His red schoolbag was hanging off of the end of his floorboard, as well as his light blue umbrella.

He assembles his bag, putting his arms through the straps. Then begins to tiptoe his way to the window. A chibi black cat keychain hanged from the back of his bag. 

Kokichi already left the window unlocked beforehand, so he wouldn’t have to risk waking up the other children. He ties the rope around the foot of his bed. The rope was made up of smaller pieces of rope, collected over time. Seven giving him one piece of rope every day at school for 12 days. 

The window was a sliding glass window. He pushed the window open slowly, hyper-aware of how it made a small scraping sound. 

He takes one last look at the room. The faded light green wallpaper was peeling away, white and yellow chrysanthemums danced across the walls.

Kokichi wasn't close to the other children in the orphanage, if anything he tried to keep a low profile. For if he wanted to escape, he had to make sure no one would miss him.

_Guess this is goodbye._

His bed was nailed to the wall, so Kokichi does not worry about his wooden bed scraping agents on the floor.

  
  


He climbs down the window, he lets off of the rope when he feels grass beneath his feet.

  
  


Kokichi didn't bother cleaning up the mess he left behind, and he just ran. Ran as if his life depended on it, wind running through his fluffy hair. 

His heart drums in his ears, as his breathing escapes his lips in uneven buffs. 

The raven hair boy runs into the woods, hiding behind a tree to catch his breath. His hands clutching onto his chest as his legs shake.

Suddenly, he hears the sound of twigs snapping. 

He bolts his head up, eyes bolting wide with fear.

”Wasureta, it's me, seven.” a voice whispers in the distance. 

Kokichi looks at where the voice was coming from, and sees his friends Blond hair. (He always thought it was funny how it looked like an onion.) The moonlight highlighting his silhouette.

”Seven!’

The young boy runs towards him and wraps his arms around him, hugging him tightly.”

”Wasureta? You okay dude?” he yelps, not used to human contact.

”I was so scared.” he utters with a shortness of breathbreath.

”And...and please don't call me that. I hate that name.” he lets his friend go, before adding,

”Call me Kokichi from now on, okay?” he orders, looking Seven in the eyes. He had light green eyes, reminding Kokichi of green apples. 

  
  


”Uh, sure man? Anyway, we better bet going before they notice you've run away.”

Koichi let's out a small giggle, shaking his head. His eyes twitch as his eyebrows meet halfway. To Seven, Kokichi looked as if he had lost it.

”Oh, they could give two shits about me.”

  
  


* * *

“Uno reverse card bitch!” Kokichi laughs evilly as he slaps his card onto the blanket.

Kaito sighed as he grabbed a card from a pile in the center of the bed, before placing it in his playing cards. 

Kaito was sitting on the left side, so far having 8 cards in his hands. To his displeasure all of which were red. Kibbio was at the foot of the bed, currently humming to himself as he was looking through his deck.

“It appears I don't have any blues,” He says in defeat, his voice pitiful. 

“As the prophecy foretold” Kokichi teased Kaito, meanwhile Kiibo takes another card from the pile and adds it to his deck of 5. 

With an optimistic smile, Shuichi placed down a 7. “Uno.”

Kokichi smirks, impressed at the detective's skills, well as much skill you can put into a game of Uno. He will never admit it to Shuichi, but watching him slowly come out of his shell, and his newfound confidence is quite attractive to Kokichi. 

“Nyhehe well I change the color to red!” Kokichi placed the card atop of the card Shuichi just drew. 

Kaito fist-pumped the air, “Okay Finally!” He slaps down his +2. 

Kiibo begrudgingly grabs 2 cards out of the pile, “Why must you betray me Kaito.”

“It's every man for himself in a game of Uno.” 

“Hmm, I see.. then in that case,” The ultimate robot puts down a +4, causing Shuchi to slump his head down in defeat. 

“I shall change the color to yellow, sorry for the betrayal Shuichi,” Kibbio said with a newfound determination in his voice. 

Shuichi lifted his head, waving his free hand side to side. “You don't have to apologize Kiibo, it's just a game.” He says with a chuckle. 

Kokichi looks over to his right, not holding back the amusement that spread across his face. 

“It's not just a game Shuchi, it is a game of fast thinking and luck.” He says with a sly smile, hand resting under his chin.

“Dude, It's just matching colors together,” Kaito remarked. 

Kokichi puffed out his cheeks, his eyebrows downward. “ You're just upset cause I beat you twice in a row.” He mumbles as Shuichi places down his card. 

“Don't expose me like that man.” Kaito wines, crossing his leg over his knee as he placed his cheek on the palm of his hand. 

After the boys finished their third round of Uno, with Shuichi being the first to beat Kokichis streak, they cleaned up. 

“Glad to see you're doing better Kokichi,” Shuichi says in a happy tone, putting the cards in the box. Kaito was cracking his knuckles, which got on Kiibos nerves. 

“I’m glad too! Kirumi says at this rate I should be able to walk around again soon. “ He chirps, hands resting behind his head. 

“Yeah, it's as if everyone has miraculously recovered somehow. However, the side effect of people acting strangely hasn't gone away.” Kiibo says troubled, a skeptical expression on his face. 

“That is still troubling,” Shuichi adds, hand over his mouth as he begins to think. 

“Don't overthink it Mr.Detective. Relax for one okay.” Kokichi pipes up, his voice cheerful. Shuchi looks back at his friend in the hospital bed. Kokichi was getting color back in his face, not looking dead. It was nice to see him back to his somewhat normal self, giving Shuichi a sense of relief. 

“Shuchi is right though, we shouldn't let our guard down just in case, we don't know what Monukuma is scheming.”

  
  


After discussion among them, Kiibo leaves to check on Miu, followed by Kaito and Shuchi leaving itd to meet Maki for their training. 

Kokichi yawns, rubbing his eyes. He snuggled into his blankets and let sleep overtake him. 

  
  
  
  


*******

His eyelids open, he is greeted with a gray tile ceiling. 

_Where am I?_

Before he could even finish his thought he felt a stinging sensation across his body, ticking his brian. As if lighting bolts bubbled in his blood. 

He blacked out, before regaining consciousness in..his tent fort? 

No, it couldn't be. He recognized the butterfly print with bleach stains splattered across the pink fabric. 

Kokichi sits up, running a hand through his aching head. Then, he felt the smell crawl up his nostrils. His hands shook as he grabbed onto the baby-blue blanket, and brought it up to his nose. 

He felt as if he was back home, warmth welcoming him in a hug. Safe, he felt safe. Something he hadn't felt since this killing game began. 

Kokichi was finally back home. 

Suddenly, he felt a twinge of electricity surge through his veins, he unleashes a startled scream. He felt as if he was being stretched like pouty, his mind drifting in and out of concessions. 

Ringing filled his ears as white static began to fog up his vision. Before it begins to fade into black again. 

*****

He bolted upwards, hyperventilating. 

What was that just now?

His jaw was aching due to him clenching his teeth in his sleep. Kokichi closed his eyes, placing his hand on his chest.

Shuichi's voice played in his mind, he followed the instructions.

_Breath in...hold...and let out…_

After a few minutes of doing the breathing exercise, he opens his eyes. He looks around the room. It's pitch dark due to the lights being off. 

He slips out of bed, fuzzy light purple socks meeting the wooden ground. 

Kokichi knows this room like the back of his hand, so he can easily make his way to the door. He feels around, he perks up when his fingertips graze agents the silver doorknob.

Twisting the doorknob, then polling the door open, Kokichi makes his exit.

The lights were still on inside the hospital, so it made it easier to walk around.

  
  


He opens the door, taking a step outside. He inhales the fresh air, oh how he missed it.

Kokichi lifted his head to take a look at the stars, his they shimmered among the purples and dark blues. He walks over to a field of grass and lays down, his hair spreading out into spirals. Placing his hand behind his head, he begins to get lost in thought. 

The boy could feel the presence of his family with him, as if their spirits were with him. 

He held that feeling in his hands, protecting those memories he holds dear. 

I will get out of here, I won’t give up. I will escape this wretched place, and I will see you all again.

  
  
  


The wind makes the grass dance, his hair now brushing agents his face. He closed his eyes, allowing himself to live in the moment. Enjoying the peaceful silence of nothingness. 

After a moment or so, he hears footsteps in the distance. Kokichi opens his eyes, placing his palms on the grass as he sits upward. He looks behind his shoulder, seeing Ryoma.

“Long time no see,” Kokichi said, taking that as his cue to lay back down. He didn't see Ryoma as a threat, so why keep his guard up around him. 

“Are you supposed to be out of the hospital?”

“I don't know, I just needed some air.” 

Ryoma walks over to him, taking a set next to him. “How's Gonta doing?” Kokichi asked, watching as Ryoma brought out a packet of cigarettes. 

“He cries all the time now, it's painful to watch. It's as if he has been taken over by grief and sadness.” His voice was low and somber. 

The boy with the leather jacket turns to look at kokichi, holding out his beaten up packet of cigarettes. 

“I actually never smoked before,” Kokichi admits with a chuckle, sitting up. He crossed his legs. His hospital gown was so long that it went past his knees. 

“The ultimate supreme leader never smoked?” Ryoma sounded almost sarcastic, he placed the pack between them as he reached in his pocket to obtain his lighter. 

“I thought that stick thingy in your mouth was fake?”

“It is. I've been trying to go cold turkey, by having candy cigarettes or rocky whenever I had the urge to smoke. However...With everything that's been happening I really need a smoke.” He said sadly, placing the cigarette between his lips. With a flick, Ryoma ignites the tobacco. 

He gracefully removes the stick and blows out a puff of smoke. His shoulders relaxing as he lets out a sigh of contentment. 

“Can I have a Candy cigarette then, all I've had is chicken soup and yogurt.” 

Ryoma nods. With his free hand, he reached into his left side pocket, then handed Kokichi a package. 

“Thank you for your kind offer, I shall spare your life in return.”

Ryoma smirks through his cigarette, breathing in the tobacco. Already feeling the buzz reaching his brain. 

After he blows out a swirl of gray smoke, he taps his cigarette, the ashes getting lost in the wind. 

“Isn’t your group agents killing or something. Why are you talking to a killer like me?” He asked, glazing over at the boy humming to himself as he happily chews on the candy cig. 

  
  


“Cause when you did kill, you had nothing to lose. But now, you have everything to lose.” 

“How did you know that?” Ryoma asked, his voice sounding almost threatening. 

Kokichi maintained eye contact, as he rested his chin on his hand.

“I overheard you talking with Gonta. I was keeping an eye on him, cause, to be honest, I thought you were tots gonna kill him.No way was I going to let that happen, no sir.” He explained, nibbling on the stick. It tasted of chocolate with a hint of mint.

“So you were spying,basically.” 

“Yuppers. But I stopped after realizing that you would never hurt Gonta.” He says a bit too cheerfully for Ryoma's liking, however, he dropped the scary face. Seeing that Kokichi was just being honest, after all, that's a side effect of this whole despair disease. 

  
  


“I do have a question tho, what do you mean by everything to lose?” he asked, what was left of the cigarette on the bottom of his shoe, before placing it in his pocket to throw away later. 

“I’m talking about Gonta.”

  
  


Ryoma looks thoughtfully at the sky, his hands in his pockets. 

“Hmm, I suppose you're smarter than that mouth of yours.” He smiled, before adding, 

“That and this weird bunch of people have grown on me, I would be rather disappointed if I lost my way as I did back then.”

_Back then, ha._

Kokichi thinks to himself, knowing that Ryoma was talking about when he first watched his motive video. Out of all of the classmates, Ryoma's motive video affected the person whose motive video was made for. It made Ryoma give up, and Kokichi could tell just by the energy he gave off. 

His classmates told Ryoma to live for them, that everyone here was friends and that they should all stick together. 

However, it was Gontas' actions that spoke to Ryoma. Sure, Ryoma wanted to believe his classmates, yet those words felt like empty promises. 

Now he can confidently say that he is friends with his classmates. 

  
  


“And what about you Kokichi, what do you gotta lose?” He questioned, nonetheless, his voice didn't sound angry, rather unnaturally calm, thoughtful. 

“Shuichi.” The words left his lips before he could stop them, his heart sinking at the realization of what he had just given away. 

“Shit! Forget what I said it wasn't a lie, I mean It isn't a lie, wait for shit-”

“Cool your jets kid, I won't tell nobody,” Ryoma reassures him, a dark chuckle roaring from his chest. 

Kokichi was covering his face with his hands, the candy cigarette already eaten. 

“Shut it! Or I will not kill you!” He then lowers his head, letting out an annoyed sigh. His threats wouldn't work now, due to the disease planting its roots into his brain wiring. 

Ryoma picks up his pack of cigarettes lying in the grass and places them in his pocket. 

“You still got a ways to go.” 

Kokichi lowers his hands and looks up at Ryoma, who was currently standing with his hands in his pockets, looking off into nothing. He looked like the kind of superheroes Kokichi grew up reading in comic books.

“What are you saying, I’m not going anywhere anytime soon?” He giggles, taunting him. 

“You know what I mean kid.”

Kokichis mouth closed, his lips forming a line. 

  
“You gotta stop running. And tell Shuchi how you feel before it's too late. Trust me, you don't know what you have till it's gone.” Kokichi could hear the regret in Ryoma's voice as if speaking from experience. The words cutting Kokichi like a knife.

“Cause even though we all may be getting along now, it only takes one person to kill, and who that person kills isn't up to us.” 

Kokichis lips tighten as he stiffens. 

_Rantaro…_

“Yeah, your right.” Kokichi lets out a bitter laugh, shaking his head. 

“Dammit, your right!” He punched the ground, immediately regretting it. He lets out a curse, trying to wave off the pain. 

Ryoma looks down at the boy, pitying him. “Your hand okay?”

“It hurts like a bitch.” He sighs, swaying his body backward so he can lay on the ground. He spreads his arms out, letting out a groan. 

“It's not broken is it?”

“I think I would know if it's broken.” After saying that he double-checks, not trusting himself. He held his hand to his face, it didn't look broken, and it wasn't bleeding. 

“You know what. I hate the taste of bitter stuff, but maybe I could use a cigarette.” 

That made Ryoma let out a roar of laughter, completely breaking his cool exterior. He turns to face Kokichi, a grin on his face as he continues to laugh. 

“What's so funny?” Kokichi huffed, crossing his arms. 

Ryoma wipes a tear from his eye, as he chuckles quite downs. “Cigarettes don't have a bitter taste. Nowadays most of them have sweet artificial flavorings. Who told you they tasted bitter?”

“Oh, the nannies at the orphanage did.”

“I think they were lying to try and stop you from smoking.” 

Kokichi lets out a gasp, hand over his chest. “They did! How could they lie!”

“Your one to talk. Anyways I better not, I don't want you to grow dependent on them.” 

“I won't! Besides you offered earlier” 

“You say that now, but it only takes one huff to get addicted, trust me kid I’m speaking from experience.”

“Were the same age.” Kokichi corrects him matter-of-factly. 

Ryoma smirks at that. “I’m gonna head out Kid, don't fall asleep out here okay.” 

Kokichi rolls his eyes, half-smile on his face.

“Don’t underestimate me, Ryoma.” The friendly banter between the two made Kokichi feel a bit more relaxed. 

He continues to gaze at the stars, feeling a bit better than he did earlier. 

Perhaps things will work out in the end.

_No, don’t think such careless things._

He scolded himself.

_I still need to come up with a new plan, to end the killing game._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey guys. Hope you enjoyed this chapter. Ryoma is one of my favorite characters and I hope I did his character justice. If you played through his free time events you probably know that I referenced his girlfriend that was killed.  
> Hope you all have a great day, stay safe, and see you in the next chapter ❤️


	9. The calm before the strom

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Things are looking bright for Kokichi and Shuichi. What could possibly go wrong? How long can Kokichi keep his secrets before they get exposed, and what happens when the despair disease has a surprising side effect(no it's not the panic attack, it's something else don't worry.)
> 
> Trigger warning for panic attack. If your wondering, I am writing from experience and have done research. I have experienced panic attacks in the past, and this is kind of my way of expressing what it felt like in a healthy coping mechanism.

Kokichi spent the rest of the night bouncing between thinking about what Ryoma told him, and coming up with a new plan to end this horrific killing game. Eventually resulting in him ironically doing what Ryoma told him to not do, fall asleep outside. 

So when the morning sunlight began to scream at him to wake up, he was both embarrassed at himself and annoyed. He reluctantly opens his eyes, his eyebrows forward. 

_Damit it's fucking bright._

Groaning as he rubs his eyes, his brain slowly begins to wake up. Kokichi isn’t a morning person and prefers to sleep in. The purple hair boy then cracks his knuckles with a young before stretching his arms to the sky, popping his back. 

“Kokichi? What are you doing here?” A voice calls out from behind him. Kokichi hands and shoulders flinched upwards, as his soul left his body. 

“I fell asleep, and don't scare me like that, almost had a heart attack!” He barks, left hand in his messy hair as he looks over his shoulder. 

He felt his heart twist into a knot when he saw whose voice it was, mentally beating himself up for not recognizing his voice. Heat flushing on his cheeks and the tips of his ears. 

It was none other than Shuchi, of course, it was. He was walking over to Kokichi, his eyebrows raised with confusion as to why his friend was outside this early. 

Kokichis arms drop to his sides as he quickly turns his head back around, almost cramping his neck. 

“M-Morning Shuchi!” He says with a nervous laugh, looking at his fuzzy socks. He noticed that bits of grass were now stuck in the light purple fabric. 

Shuichi takes a seat next to Kokichi, legs criss-cross as his palms rested on the grass. 

“Morning sleepy head.” He mimics Kokichis voice, referencing the Bug Met in 

Greet when Kokichi woke him up after Gonta ruthlessly knocked him out. 

Kokichi turns to look at him, playfully punching his upper arm lightly. “Shut up.” he wines, his cheeks poofing out. Shuchi giggles, catching Kokichi off guard. It was as if their roles were reversed, Shuchi was now antagonizing him. 

“What's so funny?”

“The expression you just made...its.” He opens his eyes, tucking a piece of his hair behind his ear. Up this close, Kokichi noticed how long Shuchis eyelashes were.

“It's what? “ He asked with slight annoyance, crossing his arms. 

“It's, it’s nothing.” Shuichi shrugs it off, laughing nervously again. This indicated that Shuchi wasn’t exactly confident enough to say what was on his mind. Witch both disappointed Kokichi, and made him realize how far Shuchi has come since they first met. Shuichi couldn’t even look him in the eyes back then, now he can tease Kokichi as if it was nothing, poking fun at the Ultimate Supreme Leader. 

“Aw why you gotta be such a meanie Shuichi.” Kokichi looks at his nails, pretending to be bored. Scabs were around the outside of his nails, healing up. He knew he probably was going to pick at them again, regardless of how many times his friends scolded him. He didn’t have much nail polish left, most of it chipped off. It honestly made him sad, sure he knew the nail polish wouldn’t last forever, expressly with both his nail picking and biting habits he’s had since he was a child. But still, he would be lying if he said he didn’t hope that the polish would last longer. 

“Hey Shuichi. I think I’m ready to repaint my nails again.” Kokichi says. He takes a glance at Shuichi, his heart-melting when he saw the Detective smile. 

“Oh really! That’s good Kokichi. Have any color in mind?” Shuchi asked in a hopeful and kind voice. He sounded so happy for Kokichi for something that the purple hair boy assumed was so simple, well not simple to him. 

“To be honest, I want to still use the nail polish Rantaro gave me. So black, but..”He looks at his hands as he thinks. 

“I kinda wanna make the ring fingers purple.” He adds.

“Oh I saw Tsmugi had different nail colors when I got the foundation for her, we can always ask her to borrow some purple,” Shuichi suggested. 

“Can you get it for me pretty pleeeeease?”

Shuichi sighs, “No Kokichi, you're coming with me.”

“But I am sick, remember? I can't go running around spreading my disease.” 

“It's not contagious, as far as we know. And If it was I should’ve gotten it by now. That and didn’t Kirumia say you should be fine walking around now?” 

Kokichi frowns, rolling his eyes. “Fiine. But I am so not walking around in this hospital gown. Its totes aren't flattering.” 

He stands up, dusting the grass off the oversized light blue gown. Kokichi always felt like he was swimming in it. 

Shichi chuckles, scratching his chin. “You might want to take a shower first. I’ll tell Kirumi to bring you breakfast to your room.” 

Kokichi gasped, offended at Shuichi’s words. “You saying I smell?”

Shuichi’s eyes shot open in panic as he waved his hands side to side. “No! It’s just, uh.. You have grass in your hair.” 

Kokichi ran a hand through his hair then brought a hand to his face. Grass rested on the palms of his hands, he felt heat spread from his neck to his ears. Suddenly feeling self-conscious.

“I will, I will see you later.” He stammers, then takes a step back, followed by him booking it to his dorm. 

******

Kokichi flicks on the light switch, pleased that nothing was out of place. So in other words, it was still cluttered. 

He remembers that Shuchi knocked something over, what did he knick over?

The purple-haired boy looked over at the piles of boxes, originally it was a stack of four, however, he noticed one of them was on the floor. 

_ Snoopy Shuchi _

Kokichi heads over to his closer, getting a set of clothes. The fabric softener Kirumi used smelled of lilacs. The scent is sweet, yet clean like fresh air from trees.

As he headed to the restroom, he caught something in the corner of his eyes.

  
  
  


_ "Hey! No peeking!" He stumbled over to the whiteboard and turned it over the other side. _

_ On the other side is a drawing of him with his hands on his hips, a black cloak flowing in the wind. As well as what appears to be a pilot hat on his head. _

_ The style was simple but charming. Till she saw that he had a raygun in his hands. _

  
  


He takes a step forward, a small giggle escaping his lips. A toothy grin tugs on his lips.

A boy with an ahoge is holding a microscope, kneeled down beside kokichi. He was facing away from Kokichi, inspecting a butterfly. 

To Kokichis surprise, Shuichi was well-drawn, he even had wrinkles in his clothes. It was kind of funny to see such a detailed artwork next to his Chibi inspired self-portrait. 

He turns the board over, then grabs a dry erase maker. Erasing the words under Shuichi's photo using his finger. With confidence, Kokichi pressed the marker agents the whiteboard, and began to write. 

_ Friend, want to get to know more about him. He’s Trustworthy and logical. He has grown more confident in his skills and in himself. Might tell him how I feel. _

The supreme leader glanced at the other photos, updating everyone's current status, on who and who wasn't sick. 

He added some words to a few of his classmate’s bios, like for Kaito he writes, “Stubborn. I don't agree with him on how he blindly trusts his friends. However I have come to appreciate him and grown to respect his methods. Friends? Rivals? I still don't know.”. 

For Kirumi, he writes, _“Still trying to escape. However, wouldn’t murder cause she would be too obvious as a suspect. Cares about me, motherly at times. I admire her dedication to her duties. She called me her friend, and I want to be friends with her. Might take more time for me to completely trust her '',_

He felt kind of guilty about not trusting her, after all she has cared for him and nursed him back to health. Yet he still has his doubts, after all it is her duty as a maid to take care of her classmates. 

He looks over at Kiibios, jotting down, _“Still learning about Human culture. Can robots even get sick? He has good intentions.Would like to call him a friend someday”._

Ryoma, someone Kokichi wasn't expecting to understand. Let alone have a conversion with. 

_ Wouldn't kill, unless it benefited the class. wouldn’t mind getting to know him more. Besties with Gonta. Has a reason to live now.  _

He flips the bored over, then places the marker back on the bottom of the whiteboard. 

******

Kokichi always washed his hair with cold water, in an attempt to keep the hair dye in his hair to last longer. The last time he redyed his hair was last week, so the color was still a lively purple. 

As he scrubbed the coconut shampoo into his scalp, he thought about his plans. Perhaps he could ask Shuichi for his help, with the two of them teamed up, they would be unstoppable. 

However, Shuichi’s loyalty to his friends is a huge weakness, as well as hesitation. Sure, he is more confident, however, he still hesitates when it comes to certain areas. 

  
  


_ It's obvious that someone is watching us, or else we wouldn't have these rules in place. So maybe...  _

He begins to scrub harder as he contemplates with the idea in his head, his eyebrows forward in deep concentration. 

_ But that means...no I can't do that! Shuichi would be devastated… _

His fingers begin to move faster, scraping off bits of skin. Kokichis nails may have been so short that it makes it difficult to open a can of soda, but he can still unintentionally cause damage if his nails pressed down hard enough. 

He rinses off his left hand, and as he is about to bring his fingernail to his teeth his hands stop. 

With wide eyes in horror, he stares at his fingertips, hot pink dripping down his skin. The water from however was washing the blood away slowly, causing it to flow like a river down his fingers to the palms of his hands. 

Kokichi hastily turns off the shower water, and grabs a towel, tying it around his waist. Then goes to his bathroom mirror. 

He lowers his head to get a better look at his scalp. Beads of pink bubbles to the surface in some areas. His heart races as he grabs a piece of tissue paper and presses down agent's his head. 

_ Stupid _

He waits till the blood flow stops, then checks to make sure he got rid of all the shampoo. Since there were no bubbles or suds in his purple locks, he could say that he was fine.

After he drys off, he blow-dries his hair. The setting cold as to not damage his hair. 

Kokichi changed into his clothes, feeling a bit more comfortable. Soothing him almost. Wearing something familiar helped put his mind at ease. 

When he is about to leave his room, his hand hovering over the doorknob, he felt that spark from yesterday's dream surging through his veins. Like a small shock zapping him from the inside. 

He shivers, blinking in confusion. _What was that just now?_

Kokichi opens the door, being greeted with a tray of food. Oatmeal was scooped into a white bowl, strawberries, and blueberries placed on the top. He smiles, picking up the tray. 

His legs were about to take him to the dining hall, till he stopped himself. 

_ No, I can't risk it. What if they ask questions. I can't let my plan get out- _

“You're on your way to breakfast? I was just about to ask if you wanted to eat with us?” 

Kokichi flinches when he feels a hand on his shoulder, his heart jumping out of his chest. The hands polls away, Shuichi chewed on his lower lip as he felt sorry for scaring Kokichi.

“Oh I’m sorry-”

“Nyheheh planning on ambushing me?” Kokichi turns around with a smirk on his face, yet it didn’t reach his eyes. At times like this, Kokichi scares himself at how quickly he has mastered the art of switching his emotions at the drop of a hat. 

”No not at all.” Shuchi says awkwardly, swaying his left foot side to side. 

What as with the sudden mood change? Was it because he feels bad that he scared me?

”Hey Shuichi! Will you be my escort?. The mafia isn't hot on my trail, and I need to sacrifice you to their leader!” he hums with a smirk. Although he didn't want to go to the dining hall, he didn't want Shuichi to crawl back into his Shell. He wanted to reach him.

Shuichi's eyes hooded by his bangs glance up, meeting Kokichi’s eyes full of mischief. The detective was so easy for Kokichi to read, his eyes the gateway to the detective's soul. 

His eyebrows raise slightly, as his eyes crinkle as he lets out a small chuckle, those subtle things fascinated the mischievous boy. He didn't know if Shuichi was laughing at his joke, or that the despair disease changed how his words came out, Kokichi didn't care. He was just glad to see him laugh.

“We should take them by surprise first.” He says with a playful smile, which has Kokichi absolutely smitten. 

  
  


“Oh! What if we used Kiibo as a diversion, and then WHAM! We take 'em by surprise!” 

“Uuh maybe we dont use Kiibo as a diversion.” 

Kokichi sighs dramatically, puffing out his lower lip. “But that's no fun.” 

Shuchi chuckles before adding “Well we better get a move on, don't want to keep the others waiting.” Shuichi said, walking forward. When he walked past Kokichi, their shoulders brushed, sending goosebumps through Kokichis skin. 

He turns around, and catches up with Shuichi, walking next to him. They have a conversation about manga and what type of books they enjoy reading. Shuichi was surprised that Kokichi liked superhero manga, and books about cops catching the bad guys. He actually learned that Kokichi respected the cops, and was admired when Kokichi told him that he admired Shuichi's drive to learn the truth. 

When they made it to the dining hall, Kokici didn't like how empty it looked. The only people that were there were Kaito, Maki, and Kiiboo, Tsumgi, Korekiyo.

“Where is everyone else?” Kokichi asked. 

Maki looked up from her omelet, giving Kokichi an uneasy stare. As if telling him telepathically to not start shit or she would bust his kneecaps. 

“Oh Ryoma went to give Gonta his breakfast, the poor guy is too scared to leave his room. Miu is unmotivated to leave her hostile bed, so Kirumi went to give her breakfast. As for Himiko, well she was running around here earlier, but Tenko took her outside and I think they are doing laps around the school. As for Angie, she is making an art offering to Atua.” Kaito explained. 

“Is she making an offering to ask Atua to find a cure for despair disease?” Shuichi asked, walking towards the table, taking a set opposite of Kaito. Shuichi’s plate saved his spot.

Kokichi didn't know where to sit, so he just followed Shuichi and took a set next to him. God, it made him feel like he was in school again, just flowing Seven wherever he went. 

Tsmugi was sitting a couple of seats down from them, not really engaged in the conversation. It appears she is sewing some kind of design on a piece of cloth. As for Korekiyo, he set off on the left side of the table. Him too distant from Shuichi’s friend group. 

  
  


”Seems to be her motive.” Kiibo responded. He was on the right side of Shuichi. 

Usually, Kokichi would use this opportunity to make snarky remarks at Kiibo. Saying something like, ”Awe poor Kiibo! Robots can't eat”

But he was cautious. For he no longer had his weapon to defend himself. One wrong move, and its game over.

He takes his spoon and eats his oatmeal and fruit. Kokichi wasn't sure if it was because of his bland menu this past couple of days, but the naturally sweet taste of strawberries, with the texture of warm Cinnamon oatmeal, tasted wonderful.

Shuchi glanced over, seeing how Kokichis eyes sparkled as his lips smelled around the spoon. 

_ He's so cute _

”You seem to be enjoying the oatmeal, ” Shuchi teased light-heartedly, his fork digging into his cheese omelet.

Kokichi almost choked on his food, his cheeks warming up lightly.

He takes the spoon out of his mouth and swallows, taking a drink of his water. All the while Kaito was chuckling in the background. An amused smile was on Maki's face.

”I will not boil your teeth!”

”Don't you mean, will boil your teeth?”

”Despair Disease Kiibo.” Kokichi buffs in a matter of fact tone, fidgeting with the spoon between his fingers. 

”Oh yeah! How are you feeling Kokichi?” Kiibo asked.

Kokichi shrugs his shoulders, ”Okay I guess. I mean I don't have a fever anymore and it doesn't hurt to walk. So overall I'm feeling peachy?” He sounded unsure. 

”That's still a good sign!” Kaito pipes up, giving Kokichi a thumbs up. Kokichi still wasn't used to Kaito's upbeat nature, his loud voice not helping him adjust. He did however appropriate the effort the astronaut made to try and reach him.

”Can we be so sure though? We still don't know much about this disease.” Maki adds, her voice calm as ever.

“I’m sure everything is going to be okay Maki Roll.” 

“Don't call me that,” she says with a hint of annoyance to Kaito, however, Kokichi noticed that she was trying to hide a smile. 

”Maki is right, we need to stay cautious.” Shuchi says, before taking a bite.

Kokichi nods in agreement, continuing to eat his food. 

”I do find it fascinating how the disease act out of character. “

Korekiyo says with a shiver, a small laugh escaping him. 

Kokichi looked over and noticed that Korekiyo had already finished his food. His zipper on his mask closed shut. 

”Jeez don't scare me like that man, I forgot you were there.” 

”My apologies Kaito, for when I couldn't be quiet when we are discussing something so, fascinating.”

”For you maybe but not for the people sick.” Kokichi said, sounding annoyed. 

He gets up from his set, and goes to the kitchen next door. Kokichi heads to the sink, planing on washing his plate. Then he noticed the pile of dirty dishes in the sink. He assumed it was because his classmates left their dirty dishes there for Kirumi to clean.

This wouldn't do.

After Rolling up his sleeves, he digs into one of his pockets and retrieves a rubber band. He gathered his hair together and secured the ponytail. 

”Want some help?” a voice behind him asks. He immediately knew who it was.

”Sure! Just don't slow me down.” he looks over his shoulder to give Shuichi a teasing wink.

”Is that a challenge or a threat?” 

”Nyehehe, I would never hurt you Shuichi.” he heads to the sink and turns the water on. 

”Uh Kokichi maybe I should wash the dishes?”

”Scared I will break the dishes just for fun? Haven’t done that in a while.”

“No, it’s not that.” He says with a chuckle. Shuichi stands beside Kokichi, his shoulder brushed agents Kokichi.

Shuichi pointed at Kokichis fingers, ”Your damaged skin is still healing. It would sting having soap and hot water irritating the skin.” 

Now that Kokichi thinks about it, he vaguely remembers the skin around his fingernails stinging when the shower was set to hot. The supreme leader looks away from the window in front of him, and turns his head to face Shuichi. His heart drummed faster in his boney chest when he realized how close he was to the young detective. He had to lift his chin up, in order to meet Shuchis eyes. 

“Well observation  Shumai!” He praised with a wide grin. 

“Shumai?”

“You know how Kaito calls Maki “Maki Roll”, well it's my parody version of Kaitos nickname for Maki!” He explained with Triumph. 

Shuichi chuckles, his eyes crinkled closed. 

“Your clever when it comes to nicknames.”

“I know right! It should be my new ultimate.”

“Ultimate nicknamer?” 

“Yeah! Doesn't it have a nice ring to it?”

“Uhhh, not really,” Shuchi says with a nervous laugh. 

After Kokichi and Shuchi switch places, they begin to get to work. Shuichi with his sleeves rolled up, he would wash the dishes and hand them to Kokichi who would place them on the drying rack that was on the counter. 

Every so often, Shuichi's fingers would brush agents Kokichi when he would hand him something. He would never admit it to Kokichi, but he always found Kokichis touches reassuring, as if reminding the detective that Kokichi let him in. That he was no longer locked away in his room, hiding from everyone. 

But that he was here. 

“Hey, Kokichi? What you said the other day, about you ending the-”

“Not here Shuichi, people are still eating and our classmates should be coming here soon to drop off their silverware.” Kokichi retorts quickly, her voice a sharp whisper. 

“Oh, uh right. Sorry.” He apologized, going back to washing the dishes. 

The door opens, causing Shuichi to stiffen. 

“You two seem to be getting along,” Maki says. Kokichi couldn't read her tune, unlike Shuichi and Kaito, she was good at masking her emotions. Another reason why Kokichi doesn't like her that much. 

She walks over to Shuichi, “I can take it from here.” She says in a calm voice. Kokichi glanced over and noticed that she had three trays in her hands, since Kiibo could not eat human food there were only three. 

“Actually we-”

“Hey, Shuichi! Maybe you could ask Tsumugi for the nail polish while Maki Roll and I finish up here.” He says with a grin. 

“Don't call me that.” She glared daggers into Kokichi, only making his smirk widen. 

“You just want an excuse to not talk to Tsmugi, do you not like her or something?” Shuichi asked. 

“Nah, I just don't feel like it.” He admits with a bored expression. 

“Like she's cool and everything, but I’m not in the mood, you know.” He explains, turning back around to place the dish in his hand on the drying rack. 

“So in other words you want me to do your dirty work?”

“Yup.” He says carefreely. 

Shuichi sighs, “Okay fine. Maki make sure he doesn't break anything.” The last part comes across as playful teasing at Kokichi. 

The purple hair boy twirls on the balls of his feet then take a step or two towards Shuichi. His hands resting behind his back as he cranes his head up to meet Shuichi's eyes. “The only thing I don't brake is my enemies spines.” he curses under his breath, eyebrow twitching in annoyance. 

“Uh, you know what I mean. This stupid disease is tots killing my vibe.” he wines, letting his shoulders slump. 

“I get what you're trying to say,” Shuchi says, trying to suppress a chuckle. He was tempted to ruffle Koichi's hair, if only he was more confident. 

“Hmm? What's wrong Shuichi?” Kokichi asked with innocent eyes, tilting his head. 

Shuichi looks away, focusing on the tiles on the ground. “Uh, It's nothing.” He lies shyly, playing with the rolled-up sleeve of his shirt. 

Maki watched the conversation the two were having with confusion. Was she too busy hiding in her room, or talking with Kaito to notice where Shuichi had been? 

“You're such a bad liar Shuichi.” He pokes fun at his favorite person. 

Shuichi takes a peek up and is greeted by Kokichi’s smile. His teeth white like chalk. He hadn't realized how close his face was to his till now, only a few feet apart. His heart is urging him to close the gap. 

What would Kaede do? 

His fingers release the fabric of his sleeve, he motions his hand forward. Kokichi raises an eyebrow at Shuichi's stiff movements, then notices that he was chewing the inside of his cheek.

_ What is he nervous about? _

His question was answered when he felt fingers ruffle his hair. “Then maybe you can teach me how to lie better.” He says with a dorky smile. His pale cheeks are slightly pink. 

Kokichi was caught off guard by the gesture, a dumbstruck look on his face. Shuichi noticed this, panicking as he moved his hand away. 

“Sorry, that was awkward.” 

Kokichi snaps out of his state of shock, clearing his throat. He tries to think his words though, not wanting to say anything stupid. 

“No no it's fine! I was just caught off guard was all.” He explained, heating at how embarrassed his voice sounds. He was Kokichi! The Ultimate Supreme Leader!

“It didn't bother me, if that's what you're wondering. “ He adds with more confidence this time, straightening his stance. 

Shuichi blinks, hand resting on his neck. “Okay, glad I didn't make you uncomfortable. Actually… I ...nevermind.”

“Shuchi thats the third time today you cut yourself off.” Kokichi pointed out, waving a finger. 

“Now I’m sure whatever you have to say can't be bad.” 

Shuichi is quiet for a few seconds, before taking the plunge. “Your hair is surprisingly soft.”

Kokichi burst into laughter, “Is that all you wanted to say? See it wasn't hard.” 

Shuichi was debating if he should tell Kokichi the rest, that he noticed that he felt scratches on Kokichis scalp. He was concerned about Kokichi, wondering if stress caused him to scratch his head till it began to bleed. He can still feel the soft, healing skin on his fingertips, and how it startled him. 

But that's a topic for another day, after all, they had all the time in the world now, right?

As Shuichi is about to leave the door, Kokichi hollars “ Good luck on your noble quest.” 

Shuichi turns around, giving Kokichi an awkward thumbs up, and leaves, closing the door behind him. 

An uneasy silence falls upon Maki and Kokichi. If Kokichi was able to lie, he would try to get a rise out of her. He didn't want to take that chance, however, cause he knew that Maki can ask him anything, and his body would force him to regurgitate the truth. 

Maki hands Kokichi one of the trays, not breaking eye contact. Her stare was cold, unreadable. Kokichi bites his lower lip as he takes the tray from her. 

“If you hurt Shuichi, I won't hesitate to kill you.” She threatens, her voice low. 

“I should say the same to you.” He snickers back, immediately regretting it. Within seconds, she takes the tray from his hands and puts it in the sink. She takes a step forward, he takes a step back. This is repeated till his lower back agents the counter. 

“Do you want to die?” Her voice was menacing. 

Before he bites back his tongue, the words leave his mouth without his permission. 

“No, I’m terrified of death.’ When the words left his lips, his eyes widened in horror. He just exposed one of his weaknesses, in front of Maki of all people. 

“Why? Her tone didn't change as she maintained eye contact. Kokichi felt as if he was a bug, a microscope hovering above him. 

“Cause there is nothing when you die.” His words were heavy and his tone sounded as if he was in pain. He clenches his jaw shut, so hard that he could feel the pain throbbing in his jaw, and now in his skull. 

“How do you know? I don't suppose you've died before.” Maki asked, glare and muscles relaxing. 

  
“Cause when I almost died, I saw nothing but darkness,”he said through gritted teeth, his hands clenched into fists. 

Maki was confused at first, not understanding what the boy was getting at. This frustrated her, yet, she didn't dare pray.

“Why are you hanging around Shuichi so much? Are you planning on using him as a tool, like you did Gonta?” She asked, standing her ground. 

Kokichis body was shaking, his hands collapsing over his mouth. His eyebrows meeting together as he tries to force himself to not speak. He tries to move his legs, to run. Yet his legs are frozen. 

Then, something unexpected happens. His hands move on their own, slowly. Kokichis arms shake like a leaf as he tries to force his hands atop his mouth. Maki was visibly frightened, watching the man fight with himself. She was about to go get help, but then that means she wouldn't know Kokichis true intentions. 

_ I can't leave. I need to know, I need to know if Shuichi is truly safe. I can't lose another friend, not again. _

Suddenly, it was as if someone forcefully took control of Kokichis body. His hands go limp to his side. The boy's eyes grow wide in horror as all he could do is watch as he loses control of his body. His heartfelt as if it was about to explode from his ribcage. 

His jaw unclenches, sending a shiver down his spine. Eyes clenching shut in fear as the words explode from his mouth. 

“It's because I love him!” He screams, his voice hoarse as he chokes back. His chest was tight as a knot, his head dizzy. 

Maki's mouth opens as she stares with wide eyes. 

“What?” She says in disbelief, her voice shaky. 

“I love him, I love him, I love him!” He wails in pure agony. Then, his knees buckle and he falls to the ground. His back agents the counter as he begins to at chunks of his hair. Whatever had control of him was now gone, leaving Kokichi on the floor hyperventilating. 

Maki rushed out of the room to get help, to find someone, anyone. 

Kokichi felt as if the world was spinning around him like he was held hostage on a playground merry go round. His blood pressure spiking up. He didn't know how many seconds passed, or minutes, however soon he heard the door burst open. Not daring to open his eyes, he curls upon himself, his elbows stabbing into his stomach. His knees shook as he had them to his chest. 

"Kokichi, Kokichi it's me Shuichi." 

The purple hair boy was unable to speak. Suddenly he felt hands grab onto his wrist, causing him to jump out of his skin. 

"Sorry Kokichi, but you're pulling your hair. "

Kokichi didn't notice the clumps of purple hair he was clutching onto till now, his hands trembled as his knuckles turned white. 

“You can get through this Kokichi, I believe in you. Just breathe with me okay. Just focus on my voice.” 

Kokichi swallows a lump in his throat as he nods. 

“Okay, breathe with me. Kokichi.” 

******

After Kokichi got his breathing steady, his body began to unstiffen. His fingers release their grip, sore. The strands of hair fall to the floor. Shuichi lets go of his wrist. 

“Do you need anything Kokichi?” Shuichi asked, his voice somehow remaining to stay composed. 

Kokichi didn't look up, not daring to face the detective. His legs spread outwards on the ground in front of him, his hands now holding onto himself in a hug. 

“I need...I don't know what I need.” The words were barely a whisper, he felt lightheaded, his head swaying to the side. 

“Well, what usually helps you calm down?” 

“Playing with playdough.”

“Do you have playdough?”

“Yeah, it's in my room. Can you get it for me please. I’m scared that if I walk I will pass out.” 

“Of course, they are on your desk right?”

Kokichi nods, his eyes still closed off from the world. 

“Okay, I will be right back. Kaito and Maki are here, okay.”

Kokichi remains silent, as he hears Shuichi's footsteps leave the room, followed by the sound of a door closing. 

He licks his lips, as he wipes the tears away from his eyes. 

_ Stupid stupid stupid stupid- _

“Kokichi, I’m sorry.” His head shots up, his puffy red eyes open. Maki is kneeling down in front of him. Her eyes red like crimson were gentle, a complete contrast to what they were earlier. 

“I don't want your sympathy, Maki.” 

“I’m serious. I had no idea, I was just...I was just-”

“Scared for Shuichi's safety, yeah? I don't blame you for not trusting me.” He says with a raspy laugh, going back to rubbing his eyes with the palm of his hands. 

“Wait happened back there...was it..was it the despair disease?” She sounded cautious, almost afraid of the answer. Kaito behind Maki, leaning agents on the counter that connected to the sink. He knew not to ask too many questions right now. 

“Yeah...but, it's never done that before. It was like, someone or something was controlling me.” His voice is quivering as he remembers the feeling of losing control, feeling like a puppet. 

He hears the door open. Shuichi stepped into the room. Kokichi looks over at him, seeing he had the playdough for him. 

“Did something happen?” He asked, looking at Kokichi then at Maki.

Kokichi studies Maki, his eyes filled with could only be described as pure panic. He was terrified that Maki had complete power over the situation. Whatever happens now, it's in her hands. 

She takes in Kokichis expression, her face unexpressive. Which didn't really help Kokichis worry. 

“I was just making sure he was okay,” Maki answered calmly, walking over to Kaitos side. 

“Hey so uh, what-” Maki nudges Kaitos' side with her elbow, clearing her throat. 

Kokichi stares at Maki in disbelief, then lets out a breath he didn't realize he was holding in. He placed his hands on his cheeks, dragging them down his face. 

_ Oh god that was close. I thought I was done for.  _

Shuichi heads over to Kokichi, sitting down beside him. He reaches into his shirt pocket and pulls out a playdough container. “Here you go, is this enough?” Shuichi asked as he held out the container to Kokichi. 

Kokichi takes the container, popping the lid off. “Yeah...Thank you, Shuichi, for everything.” He said in a gentle voice, it sounded so small, so weak compared to his usual tone. 

“Of course Kokichi.” 

Kokichi played with the purple playdough, stretching it, then rolling the smooth texture in his small hands. It helped ground him, having his mind focus on something else. 

“Hey, Kokichi.” 

He lifted his head up to look at Maiki, confused. “So, about the despair disease. Do you want to talk about it or should it?” She questions. 

Kaito and Shuichi both look back at Kokichi, waiting for a response. Kokichi sighs, twirling the playdough. 

“Basically Maki asked me a question, I didn't want to answer it. I tried to force myself to not answer, like covering my mouth...but….” He pressed his hands together tightly, watching as the purple mess oozed from his hands. 

“It was as if someone or something took control of my body. It forced me to tell the truth. I couldn't run, my hands were shoved away from my mouth and the words left my mouth…and before you say anything please don't ask me what the question was.” 

That was perhaps one of the only times they heard Kokchi say please, in an honest manner. 

“Okay, we won't ask,” Kaito says in understanding. Shuichi nods in agreement, before asking, “How are you feeling?” 

“To be honest, I’m not sure. I mean I just had a panic attack, I don't know how much hair I pulled out, and I now know that the disease is causing my body to turn against me.” He explained a bit too brutally honest. He realized this, so he adds, 

“Sorry, that was harsh.”

“Dude, it's fine.” Kaito pipes up, sitting down a couple of feet away from him. 

“I mean, what happened, it was shity. And I’m sure Maki didn't mean any harm. “ 

“No, I overstepped my boundaries, and for that, I apologize.” She sits down beside Kaito, her voice sounding regretful. 

“Maki, it's fine, really,” Kokichi assured her, getting slightly annoyed. He would've rather have her just forget about the whole thing and go back to hating him again. At least then he would feel as if he wasn't so powerless. 

He takes out his annoyance on the playdough, pressing his fingernails into the substance like puddy. 

“It's still early, you guys want to watch a movie or something,” Kaito asked, trying to brighten the mood. 

“What time is it?” Shuichi wonders, looking around the room to see if there was a clock nearby, yet all he saw was empty yellow walls. 

“Kirumi should be coming back anytime now.”Maiki said, standing up. “I’m going to go back to bed.”

“Aw come on Maki roll.” Kaito wines. 

Kokichi puts his playdough back into the container, then places it back into his pocket. 

A hand was extended to him, he trailed his eyes up to see it belonged to Shuichi. 

He grabbed onto the Detectives hand, it was warm, so soft. Shuichi's hands were bigger than Kokichi’s, which kind of made him feel a bit insecure. 

Shuichi helps Kokichi stand. Their fingers intertwined with each other. 

“And if it helps, you only polled at the ends, so it's hardly noticeable. “ Shuichi adds kindly, trying to make Kokichi feel better. 

Kokichi looks over his shoulder, his nose wrinkling at the sight of his hair on the ground. 

With his hands still connected to Shuichi's, he is about to move over and take the hair when Maki comes over and picks it up for him. 

“I will dispose of Kokichis hair.” She says casually, walking over to the garbage can on the other side of the room. 

“So, do you two want to watch a movie?” Kaito asked with a grin, his voice optimistic as ever. 

“You know what a movie doesn't sound so bad, let's go Kaito.’ Maki speaks up, making her way to the door. 

“But what about-

“Kaito come on before Tsmugi gets there first to watch her anime movies.” Maki insisted, her voice still cool as ever. 

“Okay, well, see you two later,” Kaito says with an awkward goodbye, catching up to Maki. 

“I wonder what that was about?” Shuchi thought to himself aloud. 

Kokichi knew what Maki was up too. If he was being honest with himself, he was glad that she was fine with, well, him having feelings for Shuichi. He thought she was going to murder him on the spot. Sure, not the most logical thought, but Maki intimidates Kokichi. 

“Oh I almost forgot. I got the nail polish from Tsumgi.” Shuichi’s voice brings Kokichi back to reality. Making him aware that his fingers are still intertwined with Shuichi's, causing him to feel weak in the knees. 

“Good job Shuichi! I knew I could trust you with this important quest. Now the village is saved.” He hums, swinging his arm side to side, with the same hand that was holding onto Shuichi's. 

“Hey! You wanna paint my nails for me? And I can paint yours if you want.”

“Uh, I don't know how to paint nails,” Shuichi explains, his other hand resting behind his neck. 

“I can teach you how, If you would like?” Kokichi offers with a grin. 

“When did you learn to paint nails?”

“I painted the girl's nails in my organization. I also know how to braid hair.” He brags.

“Oh that's cool. I don't know much about hair either.” Shuchi kind of felt a bit out of his element.

Kokichi noticed this, so he leads Shuichi out of the kitchen. “Come on, I know the perfect spot.” 

And so the boys left the Kitchin, hand in hand. Unaware of the despair that will fall upon them within time. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Wow I cant believe so many people are reading this. I'm so happy people enjoy reading my fanfiction. Hope you like this chapter and cant wait to see you in the next chapter.🖤🖤🖤  
> Also, I referenced Maki's childhood friend, that she mentioned in her free time events. If you were wondering who she was talking about with the whole, "I cant lose another friend."


	10. Secret Hideout

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Kokichi takes Shuichi to his secret hideout. The two get to spend some time together. What secrets will be revealed?

“What are we doing outside of a classroom?” Shuichi asked, tucking a piece of his hair behind his ear. Kokichi was always fond of the ultimate detective's hair, how no matter how many times he moved his bangs to the side, they always fell over his face. Making his eyes, silver-like diamonds, stand out. 

“Well you see Shuichi, this is my secret lair!” He boasted, twirling on the tips of his toes.

Shuichi chuckles, his laughter was soft and joyous. “A secret base?.” He says with a toothy grin, his teeth white like pearls. The purple hair boy felt a fuzzy feeling bloom in his chest like warm rum. 

“Yup! And I’m the only one who can access it!” He brags, waving a finger. Kokichi brushed his hair on his shoulders, then reached behind his neck to untie his scarf.

“Hold this or me for a sec.” Kokichi holds out his checkerboard scarf to Shuichi, waiting for him to take it. 

Shuichi grabs the piece of cloth and watches as Kokichi twiddles with the back of a silver necklace. A Golden key hanging from his neck. Once he unhooked the jewelry, he gently placed it in the palm of his hand. 

“Where did you get the Key from?” Shuichi asked out of curiosity, unconsciously rubbing his thumb in a circular motion on the soft cloth.

“ I found it in one of the mono machines. It can lock and open any room in the school, well almost.”

“What do you mean?”

“It won’t open labs. I already tried oping Rantaros but the stupid key wouldn’t work.” 

Kokichi even tried to unlock Rantaros' lab with his lockpicking skills, however no luck. What is Monokuma hiding? He placed the key in the keyhole, twisting it. A satisfying click sound signing Kokichi that the door is unlocked. 

With a prideful smirk, he strings the key back onto the necklace and clips it back on around his neck. Shuichi holds out the supreme leader’s scarf to him. 

“Nyeyeye thank you.” He snatches the cloth, then ties it back around his neck. He runs his fingers through his hair, fluffing it out before swinging his head back. 

Shuchi watches in awe, butterflies fluttering around in his tummy. When Kokchi finished, he looked at Shuichi, noticing the spark of interest in his eyes. This makes Kokchis’s confidence skyrocketed. 

“Take a picture Shuichi it will last longer.” He teases with a mischievous wink. 

Shuichi’s face heats up, his eyes bugging wide with embarrassment. 

“I, uh, I wasn’t staring.” he stammers, looking down at the ground. 

Kokichi giggles, reveling in his crush’s reaction. “What’s wrong Shuchi?”

“Just open the door.” He mumbles, a small frown on his face. His face and ears are still stained with light pink. 

Kokichi opens the door, taking a step inside. He looks over his shoulder at Shuichi.  
“Stay out here for a few seconds, I need to do something reeal quick.” He closes the door when he enters the room. Shuchi waits patiently, hearing some things getting shuffled around. It doesn't take too long.

  
  


Shuichi wasn't sure what he expected. He was greeted in what felt like a magical world, crafted by Kokichis hands. 

Led lights ran across the corners of the classroom, making the room glow a purple. Glow in the dark butterfly lights danced from the ceiling, looming over the boy's head. There was a pillow fort in the center of the room. A light yellow blanket blanket was used as the roof of the blanket fort. Chairs used as the walls to keep the fort together. Shuichi could see that Kokichi pailed on a few layers of blankets on the ground. As well as pillows and a few stuffed animals lined up around the sides. 

“Behold! My lair!” He says with pride, his hands out in a dramatic fashion. 

Shuichi looks over at Kokichi. The reflection of the lights sparkled in his eyes. 

“Wow, Kokichi. This is amazing.” Shuichi praised the detective's eyes filled with childlike wonder. Kokichi felt like he accomplished something, seeing Shuichi's reaction. 

“Nyhehe I know.” Kokichi chirps, hands resting behind his back. He then rubs his ankle agents his lower leg, averting eye contact.

“But thank you, hearing you say that means a lot.” He mumbles, licking his lip. 

Shuichi smiles, looking thoughtfully at Kokichi. “You really are something.” 

He rests his hands behind his head as he smirks. “Something Rotten! That’s a reference to a musical.” 

“Wait, you like musicals?” 

“Kinda? I don't know but Joker was really into musicals. Something Rotten was his favorite and he would listen to it without headphones.” Kokichi explained. 

“Anyways, so are you! You’re the great detective after all.” 

  
  


If this was before they had gotten so close, Shuichi would’ve assumed Ouma was humoring him. But due to the despair disease, and the time they spent together, Shuichi can conclude that Kokichi was infarct, complimenting him. 

“I’m nothing special really-”

“Hey, Lift your chin up Mr.Dective! Up Up!” Kokichi commands, Shuichi not even realizing his head was low in self-consciousness. 

“Trust me Shuichi. Your special.”

“You really think so?”

“Think so? Do you dare question the ultimate supreme leader? I know so Shuichi!” 

Shuichi smiles bashfully, hand resting on the front of his neck. 

“Haha, Thanks.” 

Kokichi cups both of Shuichi's hands, bringing them to hover at least a foot away from his chest. The boy's violet eyes twinkle with excitement. As Shuichi's heart begins to race in his chest by the contact.

  
  


“Now! Lemme show you how to properly paint your nails.”

******

The fairy lights were stringed along the inside of the blanket fort making the inside of the tent have a more natural source of light. Making it easier for Kokichi to see what he was doing. 

“Don’t you think the room is going to catch on fire by how many lights you have in here?” Shuichi asked, his voice almost sounding shy. He was trying to not think about Kokichi currently holding his hand with such care. While his other was applying black nail polish to Shuichi's fingernails, in a slow upward stroke. 

”Hehe don't need to worry about that. These lights are arson proof!”

”Arson proof?”

”Yeah arson? You know, when you set a building on fire.”

”I know what arson is Kokichi.” shuchi frowns. He is paying attention to Kokichi hand movements, and how he applies the paint. Taking mental notes on what to do. Sure, he was overthinking this, but he didn't want to mess up on Kokichis nails.

”Your nails are so long Shuichi! They remind me of a Wolverine.”

”Is that a compliment?” Shuchi asked with a small laugh.

”Yes.” he said as he finished Shuchis pinky. Kokichi removes the hand holding Shuchis, already missing the warm touch. He twists the cap back on the nail polish bottle, then admires his handiwork.

”Okay! Now we just gotta wait for this coat to dry, then we add another coat.”

”Wait you do it twice?”

”Yeah silly, so it doesn't look all half-assed.” 

  
  


Shuchi lays down on his back, his head resting on a pillow. His hands are placed flat on his stomach so they can dry without getting smudged. Kokichi remains sitting crisscross applesauce, his hands drumming on his thighs.

”Shuchi I'm bored.” hums

“Uhh, what if we play a game?”

“Oh! The knife game!” 

“No, not again.” Shuichi shivers at the memory, “You almost gave me a heart attack.”

“Awwww, Shuichi worried about me?” Kokichi cues, reaching his arm over and bopping Shuichi’s noise. 

“If it’s you playing the knife game, yes,” Shuichi says with a sigh. 

Kokichi pouts, crossing his arms. Part of him wants to tell Shuichi he lost on purpose, just to see his reaction. However the more he thinks about it, he realizes that it kind of sounds fucked up.

“How about, you ask me questions and I answer them. I’ve learned a lot about you these past few days. Only seems fair, right?” Shuichi suggested, turning so he can lay on his left side, facing Kokichi. His palms down so the polish could dry.

Kokichi rocks as he thinks, humming to himself. Before bursting into an enthusiastic ”Okay!”

”Grate, oh and don't hold back. ” Shuchi adds.

Kokichi wants to lay down next to Shuichi, to have his knees brush agents the detectives. He didn't want to go too fast, not wanting to scare Shuichi. In a way though, he has left himself vulnerable to his crush. Taking his heart from his chest, and holding it out to Shuchi.

He figured out that Detective had feelings for him. How long has he known, to be honest, Kokichi himself wasn't sure. From Shuchis mannerisms, to how his eyes dilated when he was staring at him earlier. 

And yet, Kokichi is scared.

Scared of having a reason to not go through with his plan to end the killing game. Scared To have a reason to stay.

Kokichi sweeps the thoughts under the rug, in order to think of a question. 

  
  


”Would you rather eat a cow tongue or octopus?”

”What kind of question is that?”

”An interesting one!” Kokichi cheers, 

”It would depend on how the octopus was cooked and seasoned.” Shuichi explained.

”Makes sense.” Kokichi shrugs, grabbing a Froggie plushie in the shape of a marshmallow. He hugs it as he rests his head on the plushie.

  
  


Kokichi hums as he thinks, chewing on his lower lip. He could ask Shuichi anything, and he would answer him. 

_Why am I overthinking this? It’s Shuichi we’re talking about here!_

“What's your favorite ice cream flavor?” 

_God that’s such a basic question._

“Chocolate mint.” Shuichi responded with a fond smile, “What about yours?” 

“Bubblegum or Cotton Candy.”He replies with a childlike grin. “One of my origination members actually works at an ice cream place, that joker guy I told you about earlier. He always let me get Icecream for free, as long as I didn’t tell the other members. “ He adds with an evil chuckle.

“That’s cool. Maybe when we escape this place you can take me there sometime.” Shuichi proposed. 

Kokichi’s smile no longer meets his eyes, his lips closed. A sense of dreed raining upon him in his safe space. 

_I’m not going to be able to take you there, when you escape, Shuichi._

“Hey, Kokichi,” Shuchi calls out, sounding confused and concerned. The purple hair boy meets Shuichi's eyes, oh how the reflection of the lights twinkled in his eyes. 

“Yeah what’s up?” He masked his emotions with an upbeat voice, clenching onto the Froggie plushy tighter. 

“You’re going to let me help you with your plan of escaping, right?” 

Kokichi rubs his shoulder, shifting his gaze to the blanket beneath him. 

“No.” The voice that left Kokichi was cold, and heavy with dreed. Shuichi sits up, resting his palms on his thighs. 

“Please let me help. You don't have to do this alone, Kokichi.” Those kind words felt like acid on Kokichis skin. He fidgets with the blanket on the ground between his fingers, wanting to focus on the fraction and not on the rocks piling up in his stomach. 

“But I can't. You…” He pinched the cloth between his fingers, his lips a straight line. He needs to choose his next words wisely, for he knew that Shuichi could get any information out of him with a simple question. It didn't help that Kokichi couldn't lie his way out of this one. 

Perhaps he could find a loophole in this. He comes up with an idea, he isn’t sure if it will work, but it’s worth a shot. 

“I already have an idea of who can help me execute the plan, however, I can’t tell you any further details.” 

Shuichi’s hand is under his nose, as his brain begins to think of possible scenarios and explanations. 

Kokichi stiffens, sweat dripping down his forehead. Shuichi is smart, if anyone could figure out his plans it would be him. 

Silence falls upon the two like a thick blanket. Weighing heavy on Kokichis slender shoulders. He couldn't carry the weight of the silence, as it only made him more agitated. 

Within seconds Shuichi cuts through the silence. “Your plan involves you dying, or the other person helping you dying, doesn't it.” His voice collected as ever, yet Kokichi could hear a hence of pain in the detective's voice. 

“Yeah…” Kokichi admits, his voice low. His head lowered, as he focused his attention on watching his fingers pinch the soft blue fabric. 

A hand rest upon Kokichis, the Knuckles slightly pink. Kokichi lifts his head up, his eyes wide at the detective. 

Shuichi’s legs are criss-cross, the same as Kokichis, their body's three feet apart. 

His eyebrows the inner portion of their brows risen in sadness. Soft lips offering a half-smile. 

“Kokichi. I’m not going to let you die here.” 

“How did you-”

“Your agents killing, right. It only makes sense that the plan would involve your death. And how you said you wanted people to dislike you. That was both for your protection, and as a cushion to land on to justify your decision.” 

Kokichi lets out a sad laugh, he could feel his heartbeat in his head. 

“As always, you never fail to amaze me, Shuichi.” He says with anguish, the corners of his mouth twitching as he tries his hardest to smile. Yet it comes across as a watery smile. 

“Kokichi, please. Let me help you. We can both survive this.” He begged with determination. 

“How? How are we Shuichi?” he asked in a bitter tone, his teeth clenching. 

“Tell me! HOW ARE WE GOING TO SURVIVE THIS! “ Kokichi screams with an unsettling mixture of defeat and anger. Tears begin to roll down his pink cheeks. 

“I...I dont know Kokichi. But, I’m sure we both can come up with something.” 

Kokichi lets out a snicker, as he shoves his palms into his eyes. “Fuck.” His voice was tight. 

Shuichi hesitates, not knowing if this was a good idea. “Can I..Can I hug you? I don't know what to do, I just. I want to make you feel better.” 

Kokichi chuckles, a sob bubbling from his throat. He lets out a sniff, lowering his hands. The skin around his eyes red like raw meat, puffy like paste. 

“Just don't smudge your nails against my white outfit.” 

Shuichi wraps his arms around the smaller boy, holding him tight. “My nails are dry now.” He sighs, resting his head on his own arm. 

Kokichis hands are frozen, his eyes huge as he tries to process what’s happening. 

“You can bring your walls down around me Kokichi, I know that even now your fighting to keep them up.” 

Kokichi slowly placed his hands on Shuichi’s back, his breathing fragile. He lets out a surprised sob, before breaking down. He clenches onto Shuichi’s shirt, burying his face into his shoulder as he weeps harder. 

It was as if everything was hitting him at once. His repressed feelings for Shuichi, that he tried to barry away. The despair disease, and how it took a toll on his mental and physical health. Rantaros' death, Kaede’s horrifying execution. How his family is held hostage, and he is unable to save them. Everything he tried to forget, it all came crashing into him like a wave. He lets the tide flow, washing over him. Crying the hardest he ever had in years, ugly sobs scratching his throat. 

“Why...Why am I ..so damn weak!” He wails, his hands shaking as he clutches onto the fabric harder. 

“Kokichi, your the strongest person I know. You’re not weak. Your just human is all.” 

“Fuck you.”He hiccups weakly

“Fuck you... for being just... such a good, good, person... who tolerates me,damnit!” His croaked, sniffing. 

“Sometimes. I just wish you hated me...so I could just...would’ve executed my plan by now..but you...you showed me kindness...you talked to, to me. You, you cared about me. Even before I got sick..you spent time with me. Even, even when I, I was an annoying bastard...you still hang out with me.” he coughs, his throat getting dry from all the crying and screaming. 

“Want me to get you some water?” 

He nods, “Can...can we stay like this, just for a while longer. I know that sounds pathetic.” 

“Of course, Koichi.” 

******

Neither knew how much time passed till Kokichi decided to let go. His limbs slowly releasing Shuchi.

Shuichi scots back a small bit, his hands relating on Kokichis shoulders.

”You feel a bit better now?” 

Kokichi nods, wiping his eyes with the cuffs of his sleeves. Snot ran down his nose, his face flushed. He is about to clean his nose with his sleeve when Shuichi’s hands let go of his slender shoulders and gently grabbed Kokichis hand.

”I have a handkerchief you can use.” He let go of Kokichi, before reaching into his overshirts jacket pocket. 

He pulls out a pale handkerchief, before holding it out for Kokichi to take.

Kokichi accepts the token, then blows his nose with a honk. He wipes his red, button nose with a sniff. ”Thank you. ” 

Folding the cloth, he looks back up at Shuichi. The skin around his eyes blotchy after crying. His eyelids are puffy. 

”God I'm such an ugly Cryer.” he wines, his voice hoarse. ”Uh, what do I do with this?” he adds.

”Uh, I can throw it in the washer?” 

”Haha, yeah.” he looks back at his hands, not knowing what fi say. 

”Want me to get you some water? I can take the handkerchief.” Shuchi asked.

”Yes, please.” god I sound so pathetic. 

”Okay, I will be right back. Want me to bring anything else?” 

Kokichi shakes his head, handing him the flooded piece of cloth. 

”Wait, before you go.” he united the checkerboard cloth around his neck, tossing it to the ground. Then unhooks the necklace.

”Hold out your hands.”

Shuchi holds out his left palm, the one that wasn't occupied.

The silver chain, with the golden key, is placed into his hand, Kokichi closing the detective's fingers over the key.

They both lifted their heads to meet each other's gaze. Shuichi's eyes are curious and confused. As for Kokichi, a serious expression was on his face, eyebrows forward.

”Lock the door when you leave, okay.”

Shuichi nods in understanding, after all, they were still in a killing game. If Kokichi was in this room by himself with the door unlocked, anyone could get in.

After Shuichi leaves, Kokichi ties back in his bandana, then lays down. Resting his head on a pillow, he closes his eyes. The soft, fuzzy texture of the pillow comforts him.

His mind begins to drift away, like a cloud in the wind. Before he knew it, he succumbed to slumber.

* * * 

“Shuichi? What are you doing with those piles of clothes?” Kirumi asked. 

Shuichi using both of his hands to carry his laundry basket to the laundry room, the handkerchief tossed in, along with his clothes. 

“Going to the laundry room.”

Kirumi nods in understanding, “Want me to do it for you? I’m sure you have places to be.” She offers, already making her way towards him. Her eyes looked kinder than they did, that day the motive videos were watched. As if she aged within the time passed. 

“I feel bad for having you do my laundry Kirumi.” 

“Dont worry about it.” She says with a warm smile, wrapping her gloved hands around the basket. 

Shuichi lets go, allowing Kirumi to take the light green basket with her. 

“Thank you Kirumi. I appreciate it.” 

“It's no trouble.” She looks down at the pile of clothing, how even though Shuichi was paling on washing it he still flooded the clothes neatly. Her lips a straight line as she thinks, her eyelids half-closed. 

“You okay Kirumi?”

She sighs, closing her eyes as her shoulders drop. 

“It's about, me wanting to escape from her. It's been on my mind, and has been eating away at me.” Kirumi expanded, sounding troubled. 

“You can tell me about it. I’m on my way to the Kitchin to get a bottle of water.” 

“ I have some bottles of water in my research lab, as well as a washer. Would be alright with you if we talked about it on the way there.”

“Of course.” 

****

Kirumi's poster was always straight, her shoulders like aboard as she carried herself with pride and composer. 

So when she walked with her head down, not even bothering to look ahead, it alarmed the detective. 

“It's just...when I found out I was the prime minister of japan...It was as if a light burned inside my soul. I had to leave this place, no matter what. I...I was going to even kill, to make that goal possible.” She said with guilt. Her grip tightening on the basket. 

“I was going to ask Ryoma If I could kill him. Since he had nothing to live for, and I had the whole nation to live for. You guys were clever however to separate us.

But when I did see him, he was talking with you guys or Gonta. Over time, he got more comfortable, and I knew that I couldn't kill him...or any of you.” Her feet take a halt. 

Shuichi notices this and turns around. She looks up at the detective, guilt written on her face. “I can't, No matter how badly I want to leave. No matter how much I hurt myself trying to get to the underground passage, leaving defeated and covered in bruises...I can't bring myself to kill.” Her hands shook as she poured out her emotions. She sounded angry at herself, distraught.

“I've been taking care of the sick and watched them crumble into despair. Challenging my feelings, my empathy. I still desperately want to escape, but I can't bring myself to kill them! It hurts my heart so much, knowing that my people are out there in danger! And all I can do is try to escape…” She expressed in agony, her eyes squinted closed and eyebrows forward. 

“Kirumi, I don't know what to say.” 

“It's fine Shuichi, I just wanted to get this off my chest.” She elaborated, beginning to walk forward. 

“Come now, you have places to be.” 

“Kirumi, wait. Please, if you need anything at all I’m here.” He offers his support, a soft smile on his face. 

Kirumi gives him a sad smile, “ It's okay Shuichi. I will be fine.” 

Shuichi follows Kirumi to her lab, feeling melancholy. As if all the light in the room has left, leaving Kirumi alone. 

******

Shuichi always liked the Victorian gothic look of Kirumis lab. Kind of reminding him of his uncle's house. After he got the bottle of water, he headed back to Kokichis hideout. He was glad that Kokichi let him into his safe space.

What Shuichi wasn't aware of, was he himself was Kokichi’s safe space. 

He takes the silver chain from his pocket, with such care. Then unlocks the door. When he opens the door, he calls out Kokichis name. No answer, causing his heart to stop. 

Kokichi was laying down, inside the tent. Shuichi’s blood goes cold, fear sending adrenaline through him. He runs to him, having to bow his head to get into the tent. “Kokichi!” He yells, kneeling beside him. Kokichi eyes twitch, a small humming noise escaping his chest. 

Shuichi lets out a breath, wiping his forehead with his sleeve. 

“Damnit Shuichi..” He wines, followed by a cough. 

The detective turns his head, staring at the leader's face. The color around his eyes were back to normal, yet his nose and cheeks were still stained with red.

The two were three feet away from each other, oh how Shuichi wanted to scoop the boy up and hold him close. Protecting him from all the pain and suffering in the world. 

But all he could do was hold out the water bottle to him. 

“Thanks.” Kokichi smiles weakly, sitting up. He grabs the bottle, his hands ghosting over Shuichis. The urge to intertwine their fingers together was strong in his heart. 

WIthout realizing it, his fingers connect with Shuichis. Their eyes meet, clicking into place like a puzzle piece. 

He doesn't know how long they stay like this, for time was irrelevant. All that mattered was this moment. Kokichi’s heart was stuck in his throat, he didn't know what to say. 

_“You gotta stop running. And tell Shuchi how you feel before it's too late. Trust me, you don't know what you have till it's gone.”_

Ryoma’s words played through Kokichis head, His chest tightening. 

  
  
  


“So uh...how are you feeling?” Shuichi asked flustered, chewing his lower lip. 

“Shuichi.”

“Yeah?”

He scoots closer, the feeling of his rapid heartbeat drumming agents his ribcage. 

“Shut up, or I’m going to kiss you.” 

Shuichi's whole face turns a dark shade of pink, his eyes wide and blinking with confusion. He opens his mouth, but no words come out. Even his hands were turning pink with embarrassment. 

“So, can I?” He leans in a bit closer, his voice slightly horse. He was praying that he wouldn't cough, destroying the mood. 

Shuichi nods, swallowing a lump in his throat. 

Kokichi leans in, having to arc his neck up to reach Shuichi's lips. They were soft like marshmallows. Warmth resonating from the contact. He closed his eyes, letting himself get lost in the moment. The kiss was gentle, shy almost 

Shuichi's eyes were shot open, before slowly closing them. Leaning into the kiss as he gets more comfortable. The smell of Kokichi’s green apple shampoo ,felt like home. 

And he was, at home

  
  
  
  
  


**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I hope you liked the chapter. It took me a while to write cause I've been busy these past couple of days. Thank you all for reading and I appreciate it. 
> 
> Also, if you want to read more of my work, you can read my poetry book "Abandoned House. A book of poems." On amazon. Trigger warning it does go into my experiences with PTSD, Anxiety disorder, and my recovery from self-harm. As well as poems about what its like to be lesbian in a small town.  
> You don't have to read it if you don't want to. I'm just happy people are reading this fanfiction cause put a lot of work into this. Love you all and hope you have a good day! stay safe ❤️❤️❤️❤️


	11. Together

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> What happens after the kiss?

Kokichi slowly polls away, his eyelashes fluttering open. His gaze is fixed on Shuichi, watching as he opens his eyes. Wide Sliver eyes sparkling with pure fascination. 

Shuichi’s fingertips brush agents his lips, his cheeks lighting up like a candle. His right hand still intertwined with Kokichis, both holding onto the forgotten water bottle.

“Wow...that was”

“Amazing.” Kokichi finishes Shuichi’s sentence, his heart about to explode from his chest as it hammers agents his ribcage. He felt as if he was in a state of euphoria, forgetting where he was. 

He coughs in his arm as he tugs gently on the water bottle, signaling Shuichi to let go. Kokichi takes a sip of water, helping his dry mouth. 

“Sorry, I kinda forgot about that.’ Shuichi apologizes, licking his lips nervously as he glanced at the ground. 

Kokichi twists the cap back on the water bottle, setting it aside. “Shuichi.” 

The detective’s eyes bounce back at the leaders. He begins to feel nervous, his hands sweating.

“Uh, yeah?” His voice cracks, only making him want to hide. He felt so small. Damnit why am I so nervous?

Kokichi smirks, resting his hands under his chin. “Why so nervous?” He asked playfully. 

“How can I not be nervous! You just kissed me!” He stammers, from the bottom of his neck to the tip of his ears, was light pink. This is perhaps the most Kokichi has seen Shuichi blush. 

And he was loving every second of it. 

Kokichi giggles as he scoots closer, only making Shuichi even more visibility flustered. 

“Your so adorable Shuichi, it should be a crime.” He grins. 

Shuichi’s hands rub agents this arms as he tries to think of something to say. How can Kokichi be so calm? 

_ Wait, does he know? _

“Uh, you know this is my first kiss right?” Shuichi says nervously. 

“Oh, mine too!” Kokichi hums. 

“Wait really?” 

“Yup! And I’m glad it was with you Shuichi” he flirts with a wink. 

Shuichi hides his face in his hands, his head bowing down. Body feeling as if it was on fire. Even his hands were a dark shade of pink. 

Suddenly he felt Kokichis s hands wrap around his wrist, gently bringing his hands down to reveal his face. He lifts his head to see Kokichis playful smile. 

“Pink is a cute color on you Shuichi.” 

“Kokichi!” he says dumbfounded, his eyes the size of moons. Kokichi smile turns into a kind smile, his eyes becoming warm. 

“Shuichi, I like you, a lot.” He confessed. With care, Kokichii slides his hands up to shuichis hands, their palms resting agents each other. 

“And, I know you like me too. But, It's up to you to decide what happens to know Shuichi.” 

Without thinking, Shuichi curls his fingers. The boys know holding hands.

“I...I want…” He squeezes Kokichis hands as he leans forward. Their faces a foot apart. 

“I want to be with you, Kokichi.” Passion in his voice, as he leaves his heart open for Kokichi. 

Know it was Kokichis turn to swoon. His cheeks darkening as his large purple eyes sparkle like a galaxy. Shuchi could see his reflection in those eyes. 

“I love you, Kokichi.” 

Kokichi was speechless, this didn’t feel real. Like it was all just a dream and he was going to wake up. 

But it wasn’t a dream, it was real. 

Shuichi’s warm hands, holding onto his, was real. Kokichis confession was real. 

“I...I love you too.” He almost struggled to say it out loud. But now he knew that there was no going back now. That no matter what happens, he has Shuichi know by his side. 

Shuichi lets out a breath he hadn’t realized he was holding in, his head plopping onto Kokichis shoulder. 

“Shuichi?”

“Oh my gosh, my heart feels like it’s going to explode.”

Kokichi lets go of Shuichi’s hands, brings the detective into a hug. “I didn’t think you had it in you.” He teased, resting his hands on Shuichi’s back. 

  
  


“I didn’t think I had it in me either.” He sighs, closing his eyes. 

The two stay like this for a while, time passing them by. Kokichi plays with Shuichi’s hair, twirling the gray-blue between his fingers. 

“Hey, Kokichi.” 

”Yeah?”

Shuchi holds onto the supreme leader as he hides his face in the smaller boy's shoulder. 

”So...do you...want to be my boyfriend?” he asked with an embarrassed tone, his heart racing.

Kokichi felt like he was going to die on the spot, so much has happened in such a short amount of time. He honestly didn't think he would make it this far, so he had no idea what to do.

”Yes, but can we go a bit slow. I...I have no idea what I'm doing, to be honest.” Kokichi admits with a nervous laugh.

”I have no idea what I'm doing either, I've never been in a relationship before.” Shuichi confused.

” Then we can figure it out together.” Kokichi scots back, letting Shuichi look him in the eyes. The detective's sharp cheekbones were light pink. He moves his bangs away from his eyes, so he could get a better look at the purple boy. 

”Together?” he sounded like he was still processing everything, his eyes wide with curiosity. 

”Of course!” he grins. Before adding, ”If that's okay with you,”

Shuchi didn't hold back the smile on his lips. 

”I would love to.”

  
  
  
  
  


**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry I haven't been updating as frequently as I used to. So much has happened this week I ended up painting like crazy and escaping from reality by rewatching sailor moon. Like if I didn't do all that stuff I probably wouldn't be in the best place mentally .  
> I missed writing this and I can't wait to start writing again. Please stay safe out their and I hope you all are doing okay. ❤️❤️❤️


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